G.
05-05-06, 12:46 PM
some of these are HARSH (http://speedtv.com/commentary/23508/)
20 Indy 500 Questions
Written by: Robin Miller
Indianaplis, IN – 5/5/2006 Twenty-six drivers have already been named to take part in the 90th Indianapolis 500. (LAT Photo)
The 90th annual Indianapolis 500 is on the clock so it's time for our annual multiple choice quiz and, remember, if you correctly answer most of these questions the Speedway will give you a block of tickets, a Pep Boys gift certificate and a KISS lunchbox.
1. The biggest reason Chip Ganassi isn't coming out of retirement to this month to join Michael Andretti and Al Unser Jr.:
a. Not enough time to get in shape.
b. Knows somebody on the team would leave a wheel loose.
c. Can't find a large enough helmet.
d. Afraid of Eddie Cheever.
2. Pick the least offensive scenario in Victory Lane:
a. Roger Penske smiling with the Borg Warner trophy for the 14th time.
b. The Andretti/Green team lip-locking each other.
c. Chip Ganassi gloating.
d. A.J. screaming "I'm so wonderful."
3. The Speedway is heavily advertising and promoting the race all over the midwest because:
a. There's a big profit surplus from the U.S. Grand Prix.
b. Some people may have forgotten.
c. There are 30,000 unsold tickets.
d. It was a direct order from Gene Simmons.
4. Last year's expensive marketing slogan that nobody remembers was "Adrenalin Amplified" and this month it's:
a. 33 Is Only A Number, But Gosh It's A Lot More Than 20.
b. Buy Four Tickets, get a DVD.
c. She's All We've Got.
d. KISS That Money Goodbye.
e. Buy 10 tickets, get a pace car.
5. The most significant off-track news heading into this month:
a. Lance Armstrong loses Sheryl Crow but is named to drive pace car.
b. Marty Roth leaving his mediocre IPS career to concentrate on being a full-time IRL backmarker.
c. Gene Simmons replacing Elaine Mellancamp as the IRL's new voice of authority.
d. The formation of Yellow Ribbon Racing.
6. If there's no merger between IRL and Champ Car by 2007:
a. Rahal/Letterman will be out of open wheel racing.
b. Target/Ganassi will be out of open wheel racing.
c. Firestone will be out of open wheel racing.
d. It's over.
7. A.J. Foyt is opposed to reunification because:
a. He still feels like the South won the Civil War.
b. Anything Mario supports, he doesn't.
c. It will bring back too many of those momma's boys street races.
d. Right now he's still got a Top 20 car.
8. The best thing about May:
a. Trying to spot Florence Henderson's latest cosmetic miracle.
b. Listening to IMS spin doctor Fred Nation explain what is really happening in open wheel racing.
c. Tom Carnegie pronouncing a foreign driver's name.
d. The Mug 'N Bun drive-in.
9. How many cars is Tony George really fielding?
a. Three (Ed Carpenter, Tomas Scheckter, Townsend Bell) with Vision Racing.
b. Five (those three plus the teams of Ron Hemelgarn and Eddie Cheever).
c. Seven (those five plus Al Unser Jr. and Arie Luyendky Jr).
d. Eleven (those seven plus the PDM entry, the second Panther car, the second Hemelgarn car and a car prepared by Greg Beck).
e. Thirteen (those 11 plus A.J. Foyt's third car and Roberto Moreno in a fourth Vision car).
10. The starting time has been moved back to 1 p.m.
a. To accomodate the massive traffic jams.
b. So Tony can eat a good breakfast and get in 18 holes.
c. To make sure no NASCAR drivers can participate.
d. Because Gene Simmons likes to sleep in.
11. Two guys you won't see dining together at Mo's steakhouse:
a. Dario Franchitti and Sam Hornish Jr.
b. Eddie Cheever and Marco Andretti.
c. Danica Patrick and Jacques Lazier.
d. Dan Wheldon and Michael Andretti.
12. The smokin' hot photo op in Gasoline Alley:
a. Mrs. Tony Kanaan.
b. P.J. Chesson's girlfriend.
c. Mrs. Buddy Rice.
d. Whoever Dan Wheldon is dating.
e. ESPN's Jamie Little.
13. The best made-for-TV storylines:
a. Michael Andretti passes Team Penske on the outside of Turn 1 to take the lead and victory on the last lap.
b. Danica Patrick takes the checkered flag and then wears it on the cover of Maxim magazine.
c. Sam Hornish Jr. finally conquers Indy.
d. P.J. Chesson wins Indy from the 10th row, gets upside down doing his victory doughnuts and accidentally head butts the 500 Festival Queen unconscious in victory lane.
14. Some creative ideas from the IRL's new marketing guru:
a. Put Jim Nabors in platform shoes.
b. Pipe "I Am Indy" into all 33 starters helmets during caution periods.
c. Ace Freeley changes right rear tire for Danica.
d. Paint driver's faces instead of their cars.
15. Roger Penske answers to which nickname:
a. The Pirate.
b. Money.
c. The Captain.
d. Shifty.
16. Honda powers every car so there can no longer be:
a. Whining.
b. Qualifying engines.
c. The Toyota Excuse.
d. All of the above.
17. Eddie Cheever decided to run Indy again because:
a. He was having trouble getting dates.
b. His Rachel's potato chips stock tanked.
c. He's got General Motors on the payment plan.
d. Misery loves company.
18. Analyst Rusty Wallace is likely to enlighten the viewers with:
a. "These cats are on it."
b. "That hot rod is handling."
c. "Heeeelio, we're pulling for you."
d. "Man, these cats are crazy."
19. The headline on May 29th:
a. Wheldon Waltzes to Second Straight W.
b. Hornish Makes It Look Easy.
c. Dixon: from Down Under to On Top.
d. 3 for Helio, 14 for Team Penske.
e. Kanaan keeps it in AGR family
20. Indy 500 terms that no longer apply:
a. Safely in the field.
b. Scalping.
c. Bump Day.
d. Innovation.
20 Indy 500 Questions
Written by: Robin Miller
Indianaplis, IN – 5/5/2006 Twenty-six drivers have already been named to take part in the 90th Indianapolis 500. (LAT Photo)
The 90th annual Indianapolis 500 is on the clock so it's time for our annual multiple choice quiz and, remember, if you correctly answer most of these questions the Speedway will give you a block of tickets, a Pep Boys gift certificate and a KISS lunchbox.
1. The biggest reason Chip Ganassi isn't coming out of retirement to this month to join Michael Andretti and Al Unser Jr.:
a. Not enough time to get in shape.
b. Knows somebody on the team would leave a wheel loose.
c. Can't find a large enough helmet.
d. Afraid of Eddie Cheever.
2. Pick the least offensive scenario in Victory Lane:
a. Roger Penske smiling with the Borg Warner trophy for the 14th time.
b. The Andretti/Green team lip-locking each other.
c. Chip Ganassi gloating.
d. A.J. screaming "I'm so wonderful."
3. The Speedway is heavily advertising and promoting the race all over the midwest because:
a. There's a big profit surplus from the U.S. Grand Prix.
b. Some people may have forgotten.
c. There are 30,000 unsold tickets.
d. It was a direct order from Gene Simmons.
4. Last year's expensive marketing slogan that nobody remembers was "Adrenalin Amplified" and this month it's:
a. 33 Is Only A Number, But Gosh It's A Lot More Than 20.
b. Buy Four Tickets, get a DVD.
c. She's All We've Got.
d. KISS That Money Goodbye.
e. Buy 10 tickets, get a pace car.
5. The most significant off-track news heading into this month:
a. Lance Armstrong loses Sheryl Crow but is named to drive pace car.
b. Marty Roth leaving his mediocre IPS career to concentrate on being a full-time IRL backmarker.
c. Gene Simmons replacing Elaine Mellancamp as the IRL's new voice of authority.
d. The formation of Yellow Ribbon Racing.
6. If there's no merger between IRL and Champ Car by 2007:
a. Rahal/Letterman will be out of open wheel racing.
b. Target/Ganassi will be out of open wheel racing.
c. Firestone will be out of open wheel racing.
d. It's over.
7. A.J. Foyt is opposed to reunification because:
a. He still feels like the South won the Civil War.
b. Anything Mario supports, he doesn't.
c. It will bring back too many of those momma's boys street races.
d. Right now he's still got a Top 20 car.
8. The best thing about May:
a. Trying to spot Florence Henderson's latest cosmetic miracle.
b. Listening to IMS spin doctor Fred Nation explain what is really happening in open wheel racing.
c. Tom Carnegie pronouncing a foreign driver's name.
d. The Mug 'N Bun drive-in.
9. How many cars is Tony George really fielding?
a. Three (Ed Carpenter, Tomas Scheckter, Townsend Bell) with Vision Racing.
b. Five (those three plus the teams of Ron Hemelgarn and Eddie Cheever).
c. Seven (those five plus Al Unser Jr. and Arie Luyendky Jr).
d. Eleven (those seven plus the PDM entry, the second Panther car, the second Hemelgarn car and a car prepared by Greg Beck).
e. Thirteen (those 11 plus A.J. Foyt's third car and Roberto Moreno in a fourth Vision car).
10. The starting time has been moved back to 1 p.m.
a. To accomodate the massive traffic jams.
b. So Tony can eat a good breakfast and get in 18 holes.
c. To make sure no NASCAR drivers can participate.
d. Because Gene Simmons likes to sleep in.
11. Two guys you won't see dining together at Mo's steakhouse:
a. Dario Franchitti and Sam Hornish Jr.
b. Eddie Cheever and Marco Andretti.
c. Danica Patrick and Jacques Lazier.
d. Dan Wheldon and Michael Andretti.
12. The smokin' hot photo op in Gasoline Alley:
a. Mrs. Tony Kanaan.
b. P.J. Chesson's girlfriend.
c. Mrs. Buddy Rice.
d. Whoever Dan Wheldon is dating.
e. ESPN's Jamie Little.
13. The best made-for-TV storylines:
a. Michael Andretti passes Team Penske on the outside of Turn 1 to take the lead and victory on the last lap.
b. Danica Patrick takes the checkered flag and then wears it on the cover of Maxim magazine.
c. Sam Hornish Jr. finally conquers Indy.
d. P.J. Chesson wins Indy from the 10th row, gets upside down doing his victory doughnuts and accidentally head butts the 500 Festival Queen unconscious in victory lane.
14. Some creative ideas from the IRL's new marketing guru:
a. Put Jim Nabors in platform shoes.
b. Pipe "I Am Indy" into all 33 starters helmets during caution periods.
c. Ace Freeley changes right rear tire for Danica.
d. Paint driver's faces instead of their cars.
15. Roger Penske answers to which nickname:
a. The Pirate.
b. Money.
c. The Captain.
d. Shifty.
16. Honda powers every car so there can no longer be:
a. Whining.
b. Qualifying engines.
c. The Toyota Excuse.
d. All of the above.
17. Eddie Cheever decided to run Indy again because:
a. He was having trouble getting dates.
b. His Rachel's potato chips stock tanked.
c. He's got General Motors on the payment plan.
d. Misery loves company.
18. Analyst Rusty Wallace is likely to enlighten the viewers with:
a. "These cats are on it."
b. "That hot rod is handling."
c. "Heeeelio, we're pulling for you."
d. "Man, these cats are crazy."
19. The headline on May 29th:
a. Wheldon Waltzes to Second Straight W.
b. Hornish Makes It Look Easy.
c. Dixon: from Down Under to On Top.
d. 3 for Helio, 14 for Team Penske.
e. Kanaan keeps it in AGR family
20. Indy 500 terms that no longer apply:
a. Safely in the field.
b. Scalping.
c. Bump Day.
d. Innovation.