The Ugly 70's Cars Thread

[Michaelhatesfans]

This thread was inspired by the return of the legendary Dodge Aspen. No winners, just losers, please.

There are cars more obvious, but my dad had one of these hunks of **** as a company car. The company saw it as a perk. And you wonder why unions get started!:laugh:
I give you, the 1979 Ford Fairmont...:yuck:
http://stuartscustoms.freeyellow.com/cars/1979Fairmont.jpg

[Mr. Vengeance]

Hate to pick the obvious, but for pure awful you just can't beat a Pacer.

http://img268.imageshack.us/img268/1787/1979amcpacerrs4.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

The vinyl "wood" really sets this one apart.

[racer2c]

http://nwautopage.net/lg_pics/2160498.jpg

Last summer my dad bought his 18 year old grandson a beater so he could get off his lazy butt and get a job. For $300 he got him an '82 Aries. AC still was ice cold and it still ran like a top. Ugliest car evah.:yuck:

[racer2c]

http://members.aol.com/commongear/PB81pickupLFrsz.jpg

We had a diesel version. I swear to god it had an extremely hard time going up hills. Sometimes it would slow to 35mph and you would have to drop it down to second gear just to crawl up an average size hill.

[racer2c]

http://www.edmunds.com/media/seo/500/2005.scion.xb.jpg

[racer2c]

Sorry, forgot teh title of the thread!

http://www2.uol.com.br/bestcars/carros/ford/antigos/pinto-74.jpg

[Michaelhatesfans]

Detroit styling meets Tijauna whorehouse...

http://www.fedrelandsvennen.no/amcar/brochures/buick/bilder/75_50.jpg

[Spicoli]

my mom had one of these pieces of **** when i was in HS. She hated it, so dad bought her sumpin nicer and i got stuck with this embarassment when i was 16. :rolleyes:

1977 Volare wagon. woodgrain stickers on the side.

thanks pops.

http://www.cars.com/advice/bookreviews/images/lg_autoshow2.jpg

dad drove this land yacth for a while.

http://www.allpar.com/images/chrysler/new-yorker/1975.jpg


and yes. it was a buddy of his who owned the dealership, so that why we were the only morons on the lock who had mopars. :gomer:

[Elmo T]

My Grandmom had one on these babies. Truth in advertising?

http://www.carguyart.com/catalog/Brochures/big/1973%20Chevrolet%20Vega%20brochure.JPG

[dando]

The original SUV:

http://www.avonhill.com/thumbnails/sport_utility/1973_VW_Thing1.jpeg

:gomer: :yuck:

-Kevin

[nrc]

The original SUV:

http://www.avonhill.com/thumbnails/sport_utility/1973_VW_Thing1.jpeg

:gomer: :yuck:

-Kevin

More like the original Pontiac Aztec. :yuck:

Honestly, I think Fairmont is a bad example of an ugly '70s car. The defining theme of the ugly 70s cars was that they became ungainly parodies of their '60s predicesors with battering ram bumpers and garish faux luxury styling queues.

The Fairmont wasn't attractive but it wasn't bad for basic transportation. It did spawn a number of ugly '80s cars in the form of the Granada and Fox based T-bird which applied the same garish faux luxury styling that worked so well in the '70s to the slab-sided Fairmont platform.

[mapguy]

74 AMC Matador. Only because all the good ones have been taken.

http://www.cascaderamblers.org/images/70/43090161b2f8d.jpg

[mapguy]

Upon further review I think that this is the ugliest car of the '70s. Not just because it's ugly, but also how amazingly awesome it was earlier in it's life.

The Ford Mustang II

http://www.hubcapcafe.com/i/2000/nu_brite2000/must7801.JPG

[racer2c]

http://www.tbirdranch.com/1972.JPG

[extramundane]

My brother's early car history pretty much epitomizes this topic. From
http://img.ziply.com/img/us/image/640m-480m/53975.jpg

1976 Ford LTD. His was school bus yellow, ####-brown vinyl top, crappy beige interior, to

http://fotos.marktplaats.nl/kopen/3/76/3/eDAKM6vqo=.jpg

1977 Buick LeSabre, Forest green with matching upholstery (:saywhat:) to

http://www.rx7.se/Bilder/rx-4.png

Mazda RX-4, though his was primer gray, never this nice, and ran about as frequently as Lane Meyer's Camaro. Only one other automobile has scared me as much as this one.

[Cam]

The original SUV:

http://www.avonhill.com/thumbnails/sport_utility/1973_VW_Thing1.jpeg

:gomer: :yuck:

-Kevin

HEY!!! There's nothing wrong with a blitzwagon! I have logged a lot of miles sitting on the back of one of those tooling around the streets of Bali! Did a damn fine job of taking my arse from one fine drinking establishment to the next! :D

[jcollins28]

1978 Chevy Monza

For your viewing pleasure.

http://mclellansautomotive.com/photos/B28183.jpg

Monza

[G.]

My sis test drove one of these with a 3 speed (I think) and a V8!!!

http://www.cascaderamblers.org/images/70/430940c1ebaba.jpg

Dad wouldn't let her buy it.:(

[G.]

My bro gave me one of these. After I got plates and insurance, I realized that I'd been taken.

http://www.tocmp.com/pix/Ford/images/1975%20Ford%20Granada%20Ghia%20Sedan%20f3q_jpg.jpg

[extramundane]

I almost forgot this one. It came out as a 1980 model, but my grandfather bought his in mid-79, so I'm saying it counts:

http://www.classiccars.com/classifieds/images/56/5618-14519lg.JPG

[spinner26]

My first hand me down from mom and dad was this car.:o :yuck:

Woodeman's immaculate '78 Country Squire
http://flee.com/ltd/gueststars/78_ltd_cs_side.jpg

[oddlycalm]

http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Downs/6603/cruiser/76nowood.jpg
My favorite is the 1971-1976 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser. It positively shouted wretched excess by combining "whores drawers" pillow seating for nine, battle cruiser dimensions of 19+ft., weight over 5000lbs., all topped off with a chrome roof rack for those whom the 106cu. ft. cargo bay simply wasn't enough... :gomer: Automatic level-sensing air shocks were deployed to help the oversprung/underdamped "flying living room" suspension avoid terminal death wallows when more than two people and a box of books were loaded in the car. Even with a 7.4L V8 performance was tepid and it had an strong affinity for gas stations.

In keeping with it's staid and "mature" customer base styling was somber and hearse-like right down to the rear fender skirts. The stick-on wood side decals, always a nice touch, looked cheesy when new but really came into their own once they started to peel off after a few winters. Just what one would expect from what was then one of GM's most expensive models.
http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/pictures/1972_Olds_Custom_Cruiser.jpg

[SteveH]

My dad owns a 76 Cadillac Eldorado convertible like this one but in burnt orange, baby. Car isn't so ugly but its the size of an aircraft carrier.

http://www.antiquewhs.com/1998010.jpg

[Spicoli]

this thread is funny. :D You guys make me laugh.

[mapguy]

My sis test drove one of these with a 3 speed (I think) and a V8!!!

http://www.cascaderamblers.org/images/70/430940c1ebaba.jpg

Dad wouldn't let her buy it.:(

Don't be dissing JT's ride.

:D

[emjaya]

The Leyland P76: the Car that killed off British Leyland in Australia.


Giovanni Michelotti styled the car, but Leyland Australia redesigned the front and rear ends – the rear end of the car was and still is the least popular aspect of the vehicle. The story goes that a Leyland executive saw the P76 plans, decided it needed a bigger boot and drew one on it there an then. The P76's boot is large enough to take a 44-gallon oil drum - and you can still close the bootlid

http://www.leylandp76.com/clubs/sa/jans/janssa.jpg

http://www.roverklubben.se/bilder/p76/leylandtarga.jpg

[Indy]

http://img157.imageshack.us/img157/4620/1975chevybelairar7.jpg

My first car was like this one ('75 Chevy wagon), but brown -- it looked like the biggest turd in the world. My Dad gave it to me, and I eventually sold it for $200. The best part about it was jumping certain railroad tracks, looking in the rearview mirror, and seeing my ten friends weightless floating up to the ceiling. :gomer:

[Car-B-Q]

I'll nominate anything this company made in the 70's:
http://www.citroen.com/CWW/Images/logo.gif

For example:

http://www.citroen.com/NR/rdonlyres/D5E1138A-45D4-45AA-BEA1-E42510FF3F26/17954/Ami8_01.jpg

[dando]

http://www.rx7.se/Bilder/rx-4.png

Mazda RX-4, though his was primer gray, never this nice, and ran about as frequently as Lane Meyer's Camaro. Only one other automobile has scared me as much as this one.

Those mirrors never worked. :gomer:

-Kevin

[RaceGrrl]

http://www.geocities.com/MotorCity/Downs/6603/cruiser/76nowood.jpg
My favorite is the 1971-1976 Oldsmobile Custom Cruiser.

Oh. My. God.

That was the car I learned to drive in, and then totalled six months later. It was horrible to try to control, hence my accident. My parents, in their infinite wisdom, replaced it with this:

http://www.serfozo.ch/page27/page131/files/page131_1.jpg

[Sean O'Gorman]

Detroit styling meets Tijauna whorehouse...

http://www.fedrelandsvennen.no/amcar/brochures/buick/bilder/75_50.jpg

What's wrong with that car? Its like driving your grandparents couch! :laugh:

[EDwardo]

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en-commons/thumb/5/53/250px-Plymouth_Duster_EEK.jpg

Plymouth Duster

[Mr. Vengeance]

I know this is a car thread, but the Amazonas deserves a nod here:

http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/356/superesporteel7.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

1600ccs of Volkswagen power, more plastic than a Chevy Avalanche and somehow it just never caught on.

[Dave99]

A classic at any speed...

http://storm.tocmp.com/chevrolet/chevette/1977/01.jpg

[Mr. Vengeance]

A classic at any speed...


A guy I used to work with had a diesel Chevette. It was his daily driver 'til a month or two ago. Apparently the "front end fell off of it" and it's since been retired.

[Dave99]

The AMC Javelin....

http://www.amcofhouston.org/AMC%20of%20Houston%20Car%20Club%20-%20Members%20Roster_files/Tom%20Taylor%203.jpg

[racer2c]

http://www.planethoustonamx.com/sc360/1971_AMC-HORNET_SC-360.jpg

We used Hornets in drivers ED. They had more play in the steering than a ragged out dump truck from the 50's.

[racer2c]

Always hated these too...

http://www.dragtimes.com/images/6486-1977-Ford-Maverick.jpg

[Dave99]

AMC was... such a great car company.

http://mclellansautomotive.com/photos/B32430.jpg


http://mclellansautomotive.com/photos/B32434.jpg

[SteveH]

Whoa, Javelins were not ugly. I'd love to have a restored one now. Those things ruled in Trans Am.

Mark Donohue's Javelin
http://vsrnonline.com/Photos/M_Donohue/Javelin_6_2.jpg

[mapguy]

Whoa, Javelins were not ugly. I'd love to have a restored one now. Those things ruled in Trans Am.

Mark Donohue's Javelin
http://vsrnonline.com/Photos/M_Donohue/Javelin_6_2.jpg

Gotta back up Steve on this one. Strike the Javelin off the list.

[Cam]

Gotta back up Steve on this one. Strike the Javelin off the list.

Yep! all in favor? :D

[grungex]

Aye! Though those front fenders on the later ones (like the Donohue pic) were quite ugly.

[Spicoli]

although a 66, i drove this car in the late 80s. hydraulic wipers, yeah that was a good idear. :tony:

http://users.adelphia.net/~mansonmurders/images/P7270281.jpeg

[emjaya]

The Matchbox AMC Javelin AMX:
http://auta5p.car.cz/modely/modely_a/a006.jpg
I loved the Matchbox Javelin as a kid, when I finally saw a real one I was a little disappointed.:D :gomer:

[mueber]

Aye! Though those front fenders on the later ones (like the Donohue pic) were quite ugly.

Hey, I owned one of those. Wish I had parked it in the garage and left it there.

[rosawendel]

the dodge veg-o-matic

I'm gonna tell you 'bout the car that I just bought.
It's that Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot.
Well, I'm gonna tell you 'bout the car that I now own.
Well it doesn't go nowhere, it just stays all alone.
You know, I like it.
You know, I like it a whole lot.

Well, that's my Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
My Dodge Veg-O-Matic, there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You know, I like it.
You know, I like to watch it rot.

(I don't know why)

I'm gonna tell you 'bout a car you'd best not buy.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
The brakes'll fall off and you will sigh.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
I'm gonna tell you 'bout a car that you won't like.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You had best stay home, sir, better take your bike.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
I like it.
I like it a lot.

Because it's my Dodge Veg-O-Matic, it's there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
My Dodge Veg-O-Matic, it's there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You know, I like it, though, yes, I like it a lot.

tell 'em

Well, I'll meet you at seven in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
We can all just stand by my car, you know, and watch it rot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
Well, I'll see you now at seven, sir, don't be late.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
We'll stand there and watch my car vegetate.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You know, I like it.
You know, I like it a lot.

(let's do another verse)

Well, go ahead and buy it, don't listen to me, go ahead and do it.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You'll have it home five minutes and you'll know you blew it.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
See, the brakes are made of glass and tires are made of vinyl.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You'll want to take it back find out that all sales are final.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
You know, I like it, though.
I like this car a lot.

My Dodge Veg-O-Matic, it's there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
It's my Dodge Veg-O-Matic, there in the parking lot.
(Dodge Veg-O-Matic there in the parking lot)
Well, you know, I like it.
I like it a lot.

[racer2c]

If I recall correctly, there were Javelins and there were AMX Javelins which was the cool, more muscle version. I thought the AMX was shorter but I could just be thinking of the different years. The '69 Jav is short and pretty cool looking while they got increasinly longer into the 70's.
the interiors of the Javs were abonimations; resembling Russian Lada's.

[Wheel-Nut]

MERCURY BOBCAT - Buddies HS ride, in lime green with white top!

http://www.oldpostcards.com/media/t/tra002076.jpg

[raceface]

How can one forget this masterpiece?

I give you....the 79 LeCar....

http://www.austinev.org/evalbum/img/727/727a.jpg

[raceface]

My Grandmom had one on these babies. Truth in advertising?

Anyone remember the Cosworth Vega?


http://www.carguyart.com/catalog/Brochures/big/1973%20Chevrolet%20Vega%20brochure.JPG

[Gnam]

http://www.ventisetterosso.com/graphics/ab05.jpg

[racer2c]

That thing looks like a platypus (sp).

[grungex]

How can one forget this masterpiece?

I give you....the 79 LeCar....

But then there was its badass illegitimate brother. I still want one of these...

http://www.highwayone.com/Images/Photos/Renault/00laac/00laac1.jpg http://www.highwayone.com/Images/Photos/Renault/00laac/00laac2.jpg

[cart7]

Hmm... I've owned at least 2 cars on this list. :irked: :laugh: :tony:

[raceface]

But then there was its badass illegitimate brother. I still want one of these...

http://www.highwayone.com/Images/Photos/Renault/00laac/00laac1.jpg http://www.highwayone.com/Images/Photos/Renault/00laac/00laac2.jpg





Yes!!! The Renault R5 turbo, definitely a little ripper!!! Cool, rare car. I recall seeing one for sale in the paddock at Nazareth in '97 or '98.

[Ozarkian]

My Grandmom had one on these babies. Truth in advertising?

http://www.carguyart.com/catalog/Brochures/big/1973%20Chevrolet%20Vega%20brochure.JPG

Great thing about Vegas was that they would shell out the all aluminum, non-sleeved 4-cyl. after 30K miles and you could replace it with a nice Chevy small-block and a Turbo 350 (lots of conversion kits available back in the day, for some strange reason). Lots of fun. Just don't try anything interesting at a stoplight until you've also changed out the rear axle. :cry:

[oddlycalm]

My dad's neighbor has a Cosworth Vega he bought new and still drives. That roarty Cosworth 4 banger is still alive and still cold blooded. Takes a 5 minute warmup before he can move it, so the entire neighborhood gets to listen to the warmup drill once a day. There is nothing interesting about this guy and he's not a car guy at all. I tried talking to him once around 30yrs ago and he had the personality of an accountant that had lived at home until he was 40. He is now 87 and still driving the Vega into town once a day and at this point it's anyone's guess which will last longer. Since it's in arid Central Arizona the body hasn't rusted.

If I were going to buy and keep on car, this would not be the one.

oc

[Car-B-Q]

Since it's in arid Central Arizona the body hasn't rusted.
Yeah, but how's the car?
:D

[oddlycalm]

What's wrong with that car? Its like driving your grandparents couch! :laugh: It was always hard to know who was on the cutting edge of stye in those days, the grandparents, the Tijuana brothels or the styling department a domestic auto companies. Whether it was the "whores drawers" velvatine pillow upholstery, opera windows, landau roofs (stick-on vinyl on half the roof), 500lbs of chrome trim strips that would fall off in 5yrs or less, and "rich corinthian leather" (leather with a plastic coating). This last bit was brilliant as it save grandma and grandpa from having to put a vinyl cover on the leather. They could pay the price for leather yet still sweat like pigs on the vinyl coating...:rofl:

Not an accident that companies from overseas with a form-follows-function approach ate the lunch of the big 3. Elegant form-follows-function styling never goes out of fashion. Look at a mid-60's Benz for contrast.

oc

[racer2c]

Ford stills makes those retro luxo-pigs. My dad has a 2004 Lincoln Town Car. Stick on vinyl top, chrome trim, fake wood grain interior, over stuffed leather seats, self leveling system that sounds like it's powered by a chain saw.
...and he loves it. :yuck: He even picks out the tiny differences between model years when he is driving around and sees another one (which in FL is everywhere).'
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/37/LTCCollageLong.jpg

[SteveH]

My dad picked up a new Town Car last year. He's driven them for years. I have to admit, driving that on an Interstate for several hours at a time, is exactly what that car should be used for. And probably not much else but for highway cruising its hard to beat.

[Turn7]

I owned one of these but Gold with a molded white vinyl top: :rofl:

http://www.buickclub.org/chicagoland/74Peesel.JPG

[Al Czervik]

Ford stills makes those retro luxo-pigs. My dad has a 2004 Lincoln Town Car. Stick on vinyl top, chrome trim, fake wood grain interior, over stuffed leather seats, self leveling system that sounds like it's powered by a chain saw.
...and he loves it. :yuck: He even picks out the tiny differences between model years when he is driving around and sees another one (which in FL is everywhere).'
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/37/LTCCollageLong.jpg

Can't be an actual Town Car pic, the left turn signal isn't on, and it's not doing 50 mph in the left lane of the Interstate.