interesting commercial on tonight

[G.]

So I was watching the History channel, like I often do, with the oldest g.

Wrecked Nation was on.

A commercial came on for the Trojan Vibrating Touch (tm) Fingertip Massager.

Yeah. That's what it's for. :D

I was pretty surprised to see that. It was on about 10:00 PM or so and it was pretty clear what its intended use was, without mentioning any "o" words.

I don't really mind, but I was honestly relieved that g. didn't ask any questions. :laugh:

(if one were to type vibratingtouch followed by a dot and a com, you can buy one as a gift for someone, whether they live at your home address or not. ;) )

[trish]

I think they show that in the early evening too. Maybe even daytime. I've seen it several times.

[chop456]

One of the shopping channels has a late-night show with some substantially more...uh...interesting devices. Did a real double-take the first time I saw that one. Be aware - they don't accept The Players Club card.

[Methanolandbrats]

Must be all the boner pill ads are not working, so women have to take things into their own hands.

[Tim]

One of the shopping channels has a late-night show with some substantially more...uh...interesting devices. Did a real double-take the first time I saw that one. Be aware - they don't accept The Players Club card.


Nothing like flipping through the channels before work in the morning to see 2 women discussing the fun you can have with a double dong for the low low price of $39.95.

[Methanolandbrats]

Nothing like flipping through the channels before work in the morning to see 2 women discussing the fun you can have with a double dong for the low low price of $39.95.

Kinda makes ya feel like you're not needed except for the paycheck :D

[nissan gtp]

not available in Va :shakehead

[extramundane]

not available in Va :shakehead

There's a reason all those likker stores on 301 in MD stay open so late, y'know. :D

[RusH]

Best thread in a while...enjoy it while it lasts :)

[Methanolandbrats]

I think they show that in the early evening too. Maybe even daytime. I've bought them several times. Fixed it fer ya. :gomer:

[oddlycalm]

Now that they are advertising on TV I see the inevitable horespower war looming on the horizon. The Hitachi HV250R Magic Wand 110v plug-in model with industrial motor and spring steel drive for those in need of a higher power solution. $35 from Amazon. DeLuxe kit with attachments available. Some of the reviews claim life changing experiences....:eek::cool:

oc

[Michaelhatesfans]

Now that they are advertising on TV I see the inevitable horespower war looming on the horizon.

And carry on the trend of the male enhancement products, where the legal disclaimer is the most marketable piece. "If you have a heart condition or high blood pressure, the Orgasmatron may not be right for you. Always consult with your doctor before experimenting with this product. If your mind altering pleasure lasts for more than four hours, seek medical help."

[Andrew Longman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDSyJl04Rko

[Michaelhatesfans]

Anyway, this is a good reminder of how boring we are. The Europeans have a lot more fun.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQjkWjKZ4Sw

[oddlycalm]

If your mind altering pleasure lasts for more than four hours, seek medical help.[/I]
Right, either seek medical help or grab the 70oz pump dispenser of Astroglide next trip to Costco...:laugh:

oc

[Methanolandbrats]

Right, either seek medical help or grab the 70oz pump dispenser of Astroglide next trip to Costco...:laugh:

oc or a plane ticket to Thailand.

[cameraman]

Now that they are advertising on TV I see the inevitable horespower war looming on the horizon.

Sabre saws... (http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520&catid=158)


A Southern Maryland woman was seriously injured in a mishap involving a sex toy over the weekend. The case was first reported on TheBayNet.com, and Saint Mary's county public safety sources confirmed the information to 9NEWS NOW.

The accident was reported to local fire and rescue personnel about 1:30 a.m. on March 7, from an address on Rogers Drive. The man who made the 911 call said he had placed a sex toy over a saber saw blade, and then used the power tool on his partner, but the blade cut through the plastic and injured the woman.

[Methanolandbrats]

Sabre saws... (http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520&catid=158)
:saywhat:

[Michaelhatesfans]

"but the blade cut through the plastic..."

Yeah, no ****!:saywhat:

Well, there's one guy who won't be getting any for a while. Hopefully they've stopped their sexual activity before they pass their idiot genes on to another generation.

[Mr. Vengeance]

"Every man needs a Ridgid tool."


http://img118.imageshack.us/img118/7991/af55ec074a444caa9a1ad2c.jpg (http://img118.imageshack.us/my.php?image=af55ec074a444caa9a1ad2c.jpg)

(or maybe not)...

[Andrew Longman]

Sabre saws... (http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520&catid=158)

You know when OC made his post I had a Tim the Toolman/More Power moment, but just a moment. You gotta draw the line at cooking with power tools. :D

As my wife said when I relayed the story, "How do you fix that?!"

[cameraman]

Having put hundreds of hours on one of these:

http://i260.photobucket.com/albums/ii35/Cynops/Milw6519_22.jpg

That story just blew my mind.

[G.]

As my wife said when I relayed the story, "How do you fix that?!"

He's not going to be using his boy-bits for a while, I see a donor possibility.

He would have to be a genetic match to turn the outtie into an innie, but somehow, I think that he might be. :gomer:

[Tim]

It could have been her idea.

[nissan gtp]

There's a reason all those likker stores on 301 in MD stay open so late, y'know. :D

good thing I got an ezpass for the wife's car :laugh:

[Methanolandbrats]

It could have been her idea. Faster, FASTer, FASTER.....

[oddlycalm]

Sabre saws... (http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=82520&catid=158)

The big goober probably saw somebody use a Sawzall in a porno and was too dumb to realize he needed an adapter kit or was too cheap to buy it...:eek: :shakehead

I was only half joking, there is a horsepower war going on out there. I became aware of it because one of our customers told me about making parts for one of the machines. He said about fell of his chair laughing when he first saw the parts drawings but wasn't laughing so hard when he got repeat orders ever month for 3000 parts followed by more orders for a lot of different parts. At this point he told me 20% of his entire production is for sex machines.

I'm not posting links for obvious reasons but anyone can do a Google search on sex machines. The power tool attachments are $50-$100 but a Sybian is nearly $1500. And don't forget the Monkey Rocker™. If you don't laugh out loud I bow to your superior self control. :D

You can also search Amazon and find books that document the machines & people, offer do-it-yourself projects (dude, remove that blade first) as well as the patent history. The book reviews are a hoot.

Look, when they are selling personal lube in 70oz pump dispensers at Costco with 1 gallon refills you gotta know there is more going on than little finger buzzers as seen on TV....:laugh: I'm not a prude but I gotta say that it all looks kinda uncomfortable, real mechanical and potentially move-to-another-state embarrassing if you end up on news at 11....

oc

[Andrew Longman]

OC you seem pretty well researched on the topic. Might want to check your out of state real estate holdings. ;)

But to your point, I was told a few years ago that Walmart was now selling vibrators, though I never checked to see if it was true.

Hey, life kinda sucks right now. If they can be a little happier stuck at home (they probably can't afford) with a dude who probably lost his job, then more power to them.

[Michaelhatesfans]

I'm not posting links for obvious reasons but anyone can do a Google search on sex machines. The power tool attachments are $50-$100 but a Sybian is nearly $1500. And don't forget the Monkey Rocker™. If you don't laugh out loud I bow to your superior self control. :D

Maybe this can be the next big wave of race sponsorship for F1. Tobacco is gone, and the financial institutions are bailing for all the obvious reasons. Here's a product that's as addictive as tobacco with better returns than your 401k.

And I'll spend the better part of today thinking of the cross promotions - Ferrari vibrators, the Sauber model of the Sybian, and oh lord, if I could just get a condom in Gulf colors...:\

[Methanolandbrats]

Maybe this can be the next big wave of race sponsorship for F1. Tobacco is gone, and the financial institutions are bailing for all the obvious reasons. Here's a product that's as addictive as tobacco with better returns than your 401k.

And I'll spend the better part of today thinking of the cross promotions - Ferrari vibrators, the Sauber model of the Sybian, and oh lord, if I could just get a condom in Gulf colors...:\High Tech Synthetic Lubes :thumbup:

[dando]

Oh, back when times were much more simple.

F-bsf2x-aeE

:gomer: :D

-Kevin

[oddlycalm]

OC you seem pretty well researched on the topic. Might want to check your out of state real estate holdings. ;)

But to your point, I was told a few years ago that Walmart was now selling vibrators, though I never checked to see if it was true.

Hey, life kinda sucks right now. If they can be a little happier stuck at home (they probably can't afford) with a dude who probably lost his job, then more power to them.

It's true AL, when my customer told me about fractional horsepower industrial motors and billet aluminum parts I gotta admit to being real skeptical. Be honest, if I just told you out of the blue that there were machines with fractional horsepower industrial motors and attachments for your Sawzall would you believe me....?:D

I'm sure Walmart has always sold vibrators. We sold them in the drugstore I worked in part time when I was in high school in 1967. The only thing that's new there is the fact they now cost a lot less and TV advertising.

I agree, not a thing wrong with them and I'm not looking down my nose at folks. You only live once so enjoy yourself and all. Just make sure to read the safety warning labels and use a wall outlet with a GFI...:D

oc

[Andrew Longman]

Just make sure to read the safety warning labels and use a wall outlet with a GFI...:D

I'm sure the Sawzall lawyers are making edits to the safety labeling as we speak.

I'm sure our resident OC safety expert has some advice for us too. Elmo?

[ChampcarShark]

Can't wait for the Simpsons to do a take on this commercial.

seen it a couple of times before 10:00 PM.

My vote for thread of the year.:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

[oddlycalm]

I'm sure the Sawzall lawyers are making edits to the safety labeling as we speak.

:laugh: Yes, that should be worth seeing.

How much of this stuff do you think is designed by women? Large power tools, fractional horsepower industrial motors and powder coated steel tube frames feels a lot like male fantasy rather than the stuff of female fantasies to me. ;)

oc

[Andrew Longman]

Large power tools, fractional horsepower industrial motors and powder coated steel tube frames feels a lot like male fantasy...

Like of this guy? :D
http://www.flickr.com/photos/23972402@N00/431602977/

[Andrew Longman]

Large power tools, fractional horsepower industrial motors and powder coated steel tube frames feels a lot like male fantasy...

Like of this guy? :D
http://www.threesquirrels.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/village-people-construction-worker.jpg

[WickerBill]

Andrew Longman, I declare you guilty of murdering this thread.

:yuck:

[Andrew Longman]

Andrew Longman, I declare you guilty of murdering this thread.

:yuck:

Sorry. OC just seemed to know a lot about the market of people who would bring power tools into the bedroom ;)

[Michaelhatesfans]

Sorry. OC just seemed to know a lot about the market of people who would bring power tools into the bedroom ;)

He's certainly not alone. It's just that he's the only one who can write off the research on his taxes.:thumbup:

[oddlycalm]

the research

Now there's what I've been wondering about. Who exactly does the "research" on this stuff? Is Sybian test subject a career path these days....? It's not like that thing dropped out of thin air fully formed. Anonymous women sweated over the development. :laugh: And what criteria does the engineering staff use to carry out that development? Since there are competitive units that cost north of $1000 I'm assuming there is some level of A:B testing going on but I can only imagine what the criteria are. :eek:

Even the Hitachi magic wand has an accessory kit. Who designs that stuff and what kind of background does that take? How do you get a job like that? Does Hitachi have a secret lab where the engineering staff does results oriented testing? Does the staff wear noise canceling headphones or do they tough it out....? :gomer:

Not to be left out, Panasonic has their EU 6441 vibrating "Horse Riding Fitness Equipment," a work safe variant with no attachments. Seen in an office building in Taipei the sign says ""Please Feel Free To Use The Equipments". Is there some unspoken office "code of silence" social etiquette in effect or do the other workers wink, smile at each other and giggle at the shrieks and sighs...?

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3013/2881969280_d280f94062.jpg?v=1222188722

[Elmo T]

I'm sure our resident OC safety expert has some advice for us too. Elmo?

Don't use the DEWALT DC305 - they are a fire hazard (http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml07/07068.html).

New labels will indicate FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY.

[Methanolandbrats]

Kinda makes ya wonder what kind of detail work could be done with a variable speed Dremel and those little buffing attachments.:gomer:

[oddlycalm]

Over the weekend I saw a listing for "KY off road motorcycle event" and thought of this thread. :gomer: So if you fall of should you hold real still and mind your own business? I'm guessing that receiving the congeniality award would not be a good thing....? :confused: :eek:

oc

[Michaelhatesfans]

Since there are competitive units that cost north of $1000 I'm assuming there is some level of A:B testing going on but I can only imagine what the criteria are. :eek:

I'll have to advise my wife not to be so dismissive of those people with the clipboards in the mall.:D

[oddlycalm]

Kinda makes ya wonder what kind of detail work could be done with a variable speed Dremel and those little buffing attachments.:gomer:

Don't forget to add a bit jewelers rouge to achieve a shiny luster...:D

http://www.ultrashine.net/imgs/Jewlers-Rouge-&-Buffing-Whe.jpg

[Ankf00]

a jackhammer...

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/


a mf'ing jackhammer.

[Gnam]

That's horrible. :laugh:

Is it true that, once a power tool gets a taste of human flesh, it turns into a maneater?

[extramundane]

a jackhammer...

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/


a mf'ing jackhammer.

The physics of that are staggering. Mythbusters special episode?

[emjaya]

a jackhammer...

http://decentcommunity.org/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/


a mf'ing jackhammer.

What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer? :saywhat:

[oddlycalm]

Is it true that, once a power tool gets a taste of human flesh, it turns into a maneater?
No doubt about it. :laugh:

I'm working on my own theory that a persons soft parts were not designed to stand up well to high horsepower assaults or sharpened tool steel. It's just a theory for now but the supporting evidence seems to be trickling in....:gomer:

oc

[Michaelhatesfans]

Is it true that, once a power tool gets a taste of human flesh, it turns into a maneater?

Supercharged sex toys can sense fear. And they don't like it.

[Andrew Longman]

What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer? :saywhat:

And choosing to use it naked in the drive way
:shakehead

[G.]

What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer? :saywhat:
more.

[Methanolandbrats]

Originally Posted by emjaya
What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer?


More control than using a horse?

[Brickman]

What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer? :saywhat:

She probably figured another man wasn't the answer. Hubby should have taken his jackhammer with him and she should have bought the "Jackhammer Johnson" instead.

[Napoleon]

Best thread ever!

[Indy]

I'll bet a jackhammer could scrape those intestinal shrimp out of there.

[stroker]

What are you looking for in your sex life when you think a jackhammer is the answer? :saywhat:

She could have just called Big Jim Slade...

[Dirk Diggler]

I just felt that I should contribute to this thread.

[Gnam]

Once you go Black & Decker, you never go back. ;)

[racermike]

Dont know how I missed this thread, but here is another commercial you will never see in the USA (despite it being sold here)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqt3Zb7BItA

[Napoleon]

Racermike,

That reminds me of this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cA4oqaAWx4

[Mr. Vengeance]

Yup. It's a drilldo.

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/1988/drilldo.jpg (http://img179.imageshack.us/my.php?image=drilldo.jpg)

[Michaelhatesfans]

Yup. It's a drilldo.

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/1988/drilldo.jpg (http://img179.imageshack.us/my.php?image=drilldo.jpg)

"I felt bad about forgetting our anniversary last year, but look what I got you this year! Surprise!"

[Methanolandbrats]

Yup. It's a drilldo.

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/1988/drilldo.jpg (http://img179.imageshack.us/my.php?image=drilldo.jpg) Wrong type of drill, I don't think that's a hammer drill.

[oddlycalm]

Someday you'll wish you had a kwalty tewl....

oc

[Michaelhatesfans]

I didn't know where else to put this. So to speak.

http://www.kushsupport.com/

[Indy]

I've seen Kush's boobies, and they aren't big enough to need one of those. :laugh:

[oddlycalm]

I didn't know where else to put this. So to speak.

http://www.kushsupport.com/

A purely practical device designed to promote comfort and better sleep is certainly a nice counterpoint to the rest of the thread...:D

oc

[Michaelhatesfans]

A purely practical device designed to promote comfort and better sleep is certainly a nice counterpoint to the rest of the thread...:D

oc

Practical, yes, but I still found the video titilating.