Saturday '09

[Don Quixote]

http://www.clevescene.com/images/blogimages/2009/09/14/1252936878-osuchurchsign.jpg

[dando]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v309/SicksDeep/Failure.jpg

[dando]

Fixed. :)

[Don Quixote]

Michigan team photo

http://www.motleycollegefootball.com/Images/2006MichiganTeamPhoto.jpg

[TKGAngel]

No UGA VII on the sidelines this weekend. :(

http://www.ajc.com/sports/uga/uga-vii-georgia-s-205602.html

[Ankf00]

In other local news, new taco stand with secret ingredient opens outside of Samford Stadium.

Now over to Ollie Black with the weather.

[dando]

In other news, the clock to The Beatdown in The Big Hole continues.....

GO BUCKS!

O-H!

:enthusiasm tempered by the loss of Stefanie Spielman yesterday:

:(

-Kevin

[Andrew Longman]

In other news, the clock to The Beatdown in The Big Hole continues.....

You know for almost my entire life I really looked forward to the tOSU v UofM football Saturday.

Lately, not so much.

It's tough. I hated Rodriguez when he was WV because he always beat Rutgers. Now I have to watch him soil the legacy of Bo.

[dando]

~2 hours until game time and UM still sucks! Muck Fichigan! :thumbup:

-Kevin

[dando]

Buckle up boyz and girls (ank). :gomer: Here we go.

RIP, Stef. We miss you. :cry:

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

why do I have to buckle up for something that's gonna put me to sleep?


In more relevant news :gomer: Stoopsie is getting his stool pushed in by the pirate, when he loses in Stillwater OU'll be 6-6 and might not go bowling.

My question: Last year OU set a record scoring 716 points by throwing over the top on 7 step drops with 5 minutes left in 50 point blowouts, with their point total this year, is that the biggest year over year decline in output? :laugh:

[Ankf00]

I'm officially flip flopping and am now adopting nrc's policy on pryor.

Can't throw a deep ball for squat, afraid of contact, disappointing.

[dando]

I'm officially flip flopping and am now adopting nrc's policy on pryor.

Can't throw a deep ball for squat, afraid of contact, disappointing.

FWIW, he has a bad cankle. He's actually thrown the deep ball better than I expected this season. Tress just buttoned up after getting a lead as usual. :shakehead

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

my buddy: how does notre dame lose to ****ing uconn, they just discovered you could play football in connecticut like 4 years ago

[Ankf00]

clemson/uva 2nd half has been a snoozer, but lsu/ole miss heating up

[Ankf00]

awesomest ending ever! :laugh::rofl::laugh:

[WickerBill]

On the sidelines yesterday, Charlie Weis looked just like what I imagine a grown-up Augustus Gloop would look like. Large, sad, snotty nose, hungry.

[Ankf00]

genius called for Jefferson to clock it, yet tells the media that he tried to get the FG unit out and just couldn't pull it off in time :laugh:

http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a78/nursetpd/LSU/Miles_Spike.gif

[Ankf00]

this is funny, every single performance is apologized for except for one

http://espn.go.com/college-football/heisman09/index

[racermike]

Oregon/Oregon St fighting over chance for Rose Bowl bid

Am I dreaming?

[racermike]

Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen gets sucker punched by an angry fan outside South Bend restaurant.

[Don Quixote]

nice. :shakehead

[dando]

Oregon/Oregon St fighting over chance for Rose Bowl bid

Am I dreaming?

Yes. :gomer:

-Kevin

[dando]

Notre Dame QB Jimmy Clausen gets sucker punched by an angry fan outside South Bend restaurant.

Idiots. An Ohio State ended up having surgery to relieve pressure on his brain and lost this past season due to an idiot like that in Florida. :shakehead

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/crime/attorneys-debate-if-blow-that-benched-osu-player-was-defensive-or-sucker/1029179

Of course if that had been Vince Young, there wouldn't be much brain from which to relieve the pressure. :gomer: ;)

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v325/notnert427/taunting.jpg

[Ankf00]

are you kidding me? The BCS hired Ari Fleischer's PR firm: http://www.playoffproblem.com/index.htm

they even have a twitter feed

[Ankf00]

Bobby.
Tommy.
Ricky.
Vince.
Colt.
F Aggie.

[Ankf00]

UCLA-fail. Homies try to front

http://cdn1.sbnation.com/imported_assets/320493/4134034520_a83055fd2a_o_medium.jpg

but in the end homies always azn. :gomer:

[chop456]

I have no idea what you're talking about, so imagine a bunny with a pancake on its head right here -->

[dando]

GO AGGIE! :gomer:

[Don Quixote]

Can't be a drunk post, because he managed to link a picture.

[Ankf00]

USC got to UCLA's bruin on campus this week. It was tarp'ed up but no one was watching out, cork's cousins were at their calculus final :D

[dando]

USC got to UCLA's bruin on campus this week. It was tarp'ed up but no one was watching out, cork's cousins were at their calculus final :D

They were actually protesting the 30%+ tuition increase... :saywhat:

-Kevin

[WickerBill]

A 65 yard QB sneak??! Seriously?

Hook 'em


Go Broncos

tough night for the remote control thumb

[Ankf00]

If it wasn't for MW's stupid block in the back on our final TD drive, Colt rushes for 200. oh well...


http://i45.tinypic.com/ztw3s6.jpg

[Ankf00]

Auburn just ran the worst 2 minute drill ever.

[Ankf00]

I am now on the Tebow bandwagon. He's like a superhero -- part Jesus Christ, part Albert Einstein, part Michael Jordan. He's 300% awesome.

[dando]

I am now on the Tebow bandwagon. He's like a superhero -- part Jesus Christ, part Albert Einstein, part Michael Jordan. He's 300% awesome.

Those unis are the shizzy. :yuck: :thumdown: Nike. Must. Be. Stopped. Period. :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

I prefer them to their usuals. Actually, they're 90% their 60's throwbacks, only diff is the modern "F" as opposed to the traditional block "F"

You want trainwreck? Check out KU/Mizzou on espn360. Mizzou's "Beast Mode" Pro Combat unis. It's football, not a NIN concert.

[stroker]

You want trainwreck? Check out KU/Mizzou on espn360. Mizzou's "Beast Mode" Pro Combat unis. It's football, not a NIN concert.

You're kidding me--they changed the colors to make NIKE happy?

[dando]

I prefer them to their usuals. Actually, they're 90% their 60's throwbacks, only diff is the modern "F" as opposed to the traditional block "F"

You want trainwreck? Check out KU/Mizzou on espn360. Mizzou's "Beast Mode" Pro Combat unis. It's football, not a NIN concert.

I don't thnk those flapper thingies were on the shoulders, but I'm not a uni historian life yourself. :gomer: All I know is that there were several discrepancies b/w the '54 The OSU unis and the 'throwbacks' they sported for The Game.

-Kevin

[redmist]

I prefer them to their usuals. Actually, they're 90% their 60's throwbacks, only diff is the modern "F" as opposed to the traditional block "F"

You want trainwreck? Check out KU/Mizzou on espn360. Mizzou's "Beast Mode" Pro Combat unis. It's football, not a NIN concert.


i kind of liked the helmets, the "black electrical tape" stripes
on the pants, uh, not so much.

[racermike]

Not gonna be as fun to root against ND next year with Weis and Clausen both gone.

Was funny watching Stanford make them look bad tonight.

[Ankf00]

I don't thnk those flapper thingies were on the shoulders, but I'm not a uni historian life yourself. :gomer: All I know is that there were several discrepancies b/w the '54 The OSU unis and the 'throwbacks' they sported for The Game.

-Kevin

same with our "throwbacks"

[Don Quixote]

Not gonna be as fun to root against ND next year with Weis and Clausen both gone.

Was funny watching Stanford make them look bad tonight.

Flashback:

Lou Holtz predicts Notre Dame will make BCS title game
Says schedules favors Irish week in and week out

link (http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2009/sep/03/sports/chi-03-mitchell-notre-dame-footbsep03) :laugh: :laugh:

[Ankf00]

Stoops to ND is done.

Hating ND will be as satisfying as ever.

[TKGAngel]

are you kidding me? The BCS hired Ari Fleischer's PR firm: http://www.playoffproblem.com/index.htm

they even have a twitter feed

Ad Age reports on this situation, including following the money.

http://adage.com/article?article_id=140754

[chop456]

Flashback:


link (http://archives.chicagotribune.com/2009/sep/03/sports/chi-03-mitchell-notre-dame-footbsep03) :laugh: :laugh:

And The Sporting News picked them as pre-season #1 two(?) years ago. I love seeing the delusional homers get smashed in the mouth and made to look like morons.

As for Froggy - hang it up. :gomer:

[Don Quixote]

And the expert pundents are all reporting that a dozen teams in the NFL can't wait to get chubby's superior intellect onto their coaching staffs. :gomer:

[racermike]

And the expert pundents are all reporting that a dozen teams in the NFL can't wait to get chubby's superior intellect onto their coaching staffs. :gomer:

Cleveland fans are probably already scared to death of this fact. (Still not sure if Mangini keeps job or not)

[dando]

Cleveland fans are probably already scared to death of this fact. (Still not sure if Mangini keeps job or not)

According to Peter King, Porky and Mangenius weren't close in New England, so Porky ending up in Cleveburg is unlikely. IMO, Mangenius doesn't have much time in Cleveburg anyway, and Porky won't be a head coach in the NFL when comes back. Cleveburg's next hire will be a football ops czar, and they will pick the next coach. Based on what I witnessed yesterday, it won't be Mangenius.

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

Cleveland fans are probably already scared to death of this fact. (Still not sure if Mangini keeps job or not) We need to instate a new forum rule: anybody who alludes to (1) chubby to the Browns or (2) Tebow to the Browns, gets instantly banned. :D

[dando]

We need to instate a new forum rule: anybody who alludes to (1) chubby to the Browns or (2) Tebow to the Browns, gets instantly banned. :D

Dude if they draft Tebow, they won't need anyone else since he comes with his own Hand of God. :gomer:

In other news, Porky out @ ND. What a shame. Making fun of ND just won't be as fun. :D :gomer:

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

I'd take Weis on the NYG if Kevin Gilbride wasn't already the awesomest OC ever. Run n Shoot, holla!

[Don Quixote]

Making fun of ND just won't be as fun. :D :gomer:

-Kevin It will be if fooboy is right. :)

[extramundane]

In other news, Porky out @ ND.

So does that make my copy of The New Gold Standard more or less valuable? :confused: :D

http://www.espnshop.com/images/products/large_w/19330445_w.jpg

[WickerBill]

And the expert pundents are all reporting that a dozen teams in the NFL can't wait to get chubby's superior intellect onto their coaching staffs. :gomer:

I'd like to remind those NFL teams that the patriots offense really started clicking after he left... before that, their D is really what won the games.

[dando]

So does that make my copy of The New Gold Standard more or less valuable? :confused: :D


Dude. If you actually have a copy of that, I'll come over there and reaux chambeaux you. :D :p

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

I'd like to remind those NFL teams that the patriots offense really started clicking after he left... before that, their D is really what won the games.

Before that they didn't have a legitimate #1 WR, either.

[ferrarigod]

Bowden is a class act and will be missed. Let's see what Jimbo blames now when FSU doesn't win.

hahahahah charlie weis ahahhahahahahhaha gold standard lulzzzzz!!:rofl:

[ferrarigod]

So does that make my copy of The New Gold Standard more or less valuable? :confused: :D

http://www.espnshop.com/images/products/large_w/19330445_w.jpg

gold is increasing in value at a nice clip right now.

unfortunately for you, this book is based on fool's gold.

so its now worth the cost of ink and # of trees printed minus the shipping fees.:tony:

[extramundane]

Dude. If you actually have a copy of that, I'll come over there and reaux chambeaux you. :D :p

-Kevin

My brother's in-laws are a big ND family- they gave him a copy at one point. I'm pretty sure he used it to start the smoker at the restaurant.

{Insert 'the ribs were extra fatty that night' joke here}

[dando]

My brother's in-laws are a big ND family

And you married into that clan? :eek: :gomer: :p

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

On the one hand, Stoops hashing out a contract with ND would align planets for me.

On the other, I don't want Kevin Sumlin taking over a B12 job, especially in the South. And if Stoops leaves, I bet Sumlin is candidate #1... ****.

[extramundane]

And you married into that clan? :eek: :gomer: :p

-Kevin

No, I didn't marry my brother. I'm from Western Virginia, not West Virginia. ;)

Don't even get me started on the sports proclivities of my in-laws.

[dando]

No, I didn't marry my brother. I'm from Western Virginia, not West Virginia. ;)

Don't even get me started on the sports proclivities of my in-laws.

Guilty by association. ;)

-Kevin

[dando]

It will be if fooboy is right. :)

E$PN is saying Stoopsie is staying @ Okie this AM.

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

uh-oh. Kelly ain't talking. Not that I would expect him to.

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4703688

[dando]

http://www.irishcentral.com/sport/Brian-Kelly-will-be-next-Notre-Dame-football-coach.html

Kelly to the Irish.

That should shutup those UC fans that have come out of the woodwork this season. :gomer: :saywhat:

-Kevin

[chop456]

Kelly? Well, that's pretty good.

Too bad they couldn't find someone named Seamus O'Herlihy to validate all the goobers that think they have to root for Notre Dame because their Grandmother's cousin came over from Ireland in aught six. :gomer: :rolleyes:

[extramundane]

http://www.irishcentral.com/sport/Brian-Kelly-will-be-next-Notre-Dame-football-coach.html

Kelly to the Irish.


It won't be easy. He's got some huge pants to fill.

[dando]

In other news, Duck season begins today. :D

-Kevin

[dando]

A tweet from one of the local hacks:


Weis and Mangino gone in same week means MIdwest just raised few more feet above sea level.

:D :rofl:

-Kevin

[chop456]

It won't be easy. He's got some huge pants to fill.

:D

Oh, Fat Chuck. Will you ever win?

[ferrarigod]

SEC first.

then:

A chronology of events for Saturday, December 4, 1999, and the early morning hours of Sunday, December 5, 1999:

6:00 AM - Arise, play the Eyes of Texas and Texas Fight at full-****ing blast

6:20 AM - Get in car, drive to New Braunfels

7:30 AM - Tee off (me and a buddy were the FIRST tee-time of the morning)

8:50 AM - Turn 9 (crack open first beer)

8:53 AM - Crack open second beer

8:58 AM - Crack open...(you get the idea)

10:30 AM - Finish 18 (holes, as well as beers), sign scorecard for smoooooth 95

10:35 AM - Headed for San Antonio

10:50 AM - Buy three 18-packs for pre- and post-game festivities

11:10 AM - We decide we don't have enough booze, so we double-back to a liquor store and buy the good
ol' 750 ml plastic bottle "Traveler" Jim Beam

11:50 AM - Arrive at the tailgate spot. Awesome day. Not a single cloud in the sky. About 70 degrees.

11:55 AM - I decide that we're going to kick the **** out of Nebraska.

11:56 AM - I tell my first Nebraska fan to go **** himself.

12:15 PM - The UT band walks by on the way to the Alamodome. We’re on the second floor of a two-story parking garage on the corner (a couple hundred of us). We're hooting and hollering like wild men. The band doubles back to the street right below us and serenades us with Texas Fight and The Eyes of Texas. AWESOME MOMENT.

12:25 PM - In the post-serenade serendipity, 50-100 grown men are bumping chests with one another, each and every one of them now secure and certain of the fact that we are going to kick the **** out of Nebraska.

1:00 PM - The Nebraska band walks by on the way to the Alamodome. Again, we hoot and holler like wild men. Again, the band doubles back and stops right below us to serenade us, this time, however, with the Nebraska fight songs. Although somewhat impressed by their spirit and verve, we remain convinced that we are going to kick the **** out of Nebraska.

1:30 PM - I begin the walk to the Alamodome, somehow managing to stuff the "Traveler" and 11 cans of beer into my pants.

1:47 PM - I am in line surrounded by Nebraska fans. They are taunting me. I am taunting back, still certain that we are going to kick the **** out of Nebraska. I decide to challenge a particularly vocal Nebraska fan to play what I now call and will forever be remembered as "Cell-Phone Flop Out." Remember flop out for a dollar? The rules are similar. I tell this Nebraska jackass that if he’s so confident in his team, he should "flop out" his cell phone RIGHT NOW and make plane reservations to Phoenix for the Fiesta Bowl. And then I spoke these memorable words: "And not those damn refundable tickets, either! You request those non-refundable, non-transferable sons-of-bitches!" He backs down. He is unworthy. I call Southwest Airlines and buy two tickets to Phoenix, non-refundable and non-transferable. Price: $712. He is humbled. He lowers his head in shame. I raise my cell phone in triumph to the cheers of hundreds of Texas fans. I am KING and these are my subjects. I distribute the 11 beers in my pants to the cheering
masses. I RULE the pre-game kingdom.

2:34 PM - Kickoff. Brimming with confidence, I open the Traveler and pour my first stiffy.

2:45 PM - I notice something troubling: Nebraska is big. Nebraska is fast. Nebraska is very pissed off at Texas.

3:01 PM - The first quarter mercifully ends. 9 yards total offense for Texas. Zero first downs for Texas. I'm still talking ****. I pour another stiffy from the Traveler.

3:36 PM - Four minutes to go in the first half: the Traveler is a dead soldier. I buy my first $5 beer from the Alamodome merchants. While I am standing in line, a center snap nearly decapitates Major Applewhite and rolls out of the end zone. Safety.

3:56 PM - Halftime score: Nebraska 15, Texas 0. I wish I had another Traveler.

4:11 PM - While urinating next to a Nebraska fan in the bathroom at halftime, I attempt to revive the classic Brice-ism from the South Bend bathroom: "Hey, buddy, niiiiiiiiice ****." He is not amused.

4:21 PM - I buy my 2nd and 3rd $5 beer from the Alamodome merchants.. I share my beer with two high school girls sitting behind me. Surprisingly, they are equipped with a flask full of vodka. I send them off to purchase Sprites, so that we may consume their vodka. I have not lost faith. Nebraska is a bunch of pussies.

4:51 PM - No more vodka. The girls sitting behind me have fled for their lives. I purchase two more $5 beers from the Alamodome merchants.

5:18 PM - Score is Nebraska 22, Texas 0. I am beginning to lose faith. This normally would trouble me, but I am too drunk to see the football field.

5:27 PM - I call Southwest Airlines: "I'm sorry, sir. Those tickets have been confirmed and are non-refundable and non-transferable."

5:37 PM - I try to start a fight with every person behind the concession counter. As it turns out, the Alamodome has a policy that no beer can be sold when there is less than 10 minutes on the game clock. I am enraged by this policy. I ask loudly: "Why the **** didn't you announce last call over the ****ing PA system??!!"

5:49 PM - Back in my seats, I am slumped in my chair in defeat. All of a sudden, the Texas crowd goes absolutely nuts. "Whazzis?," I mutter, awaking from my coma, "Iz we winnig? Did wez scort?" Alas, the answer is no, we were not winning and we did not score. The largest (by far) cheer of the day from the Texas faithful occurred when the handlers were walking back to the tunnel and Bevo stopped to take a gargantuan **** all over the letters "S", "K", and "A" in the "Nebraska" spelled out in their end zone. I cheer wildly. I pick up the empty Traveler bottle and stick my tongue in it. I am thirsty.

6:16 PM - Nebraska fans are going berserk as I walk back to the truck. I would taunt them with some off-color remarks about their parentage, but I am too drunk to form complete sentences. With my last cognitive thought of the evening, I take solace in the fact that if we had not beaten them in October, they would be playing Florida State for the national championship.

6:30 PM - Back in the car. On the way back to Austin for the 8:00 Texas-Arizona tip off. We can still salvage the day! I crack open a beer. It is warm. I don't care.

7:12 PM - We have stopped for gas. I am hungry. I go inside the store. I walk past the beer fridge. I notice a Zima. I've never had a Zima. I wonder if it's any good. I pull a Zima from the fridge. I twist the top off and drink the Zima in three swallows. Zima sucks. I replace the empty bottle in the fridge.

7:17 PM - There is a Blimpie Subs in the store. I walk to where the ingredients are, where the person usually makes the sub. There is no one there. I lean over the counter and scoop out half a bucket of black olives. I eat them. I am still hungry. I lean further over the counter and grab approximately two pounds of Pastrami. I walk out of the store grunting and eating Pastrami. The patrons in the store fear me. I don't care.

8:01 PM - We are in South Austin. I have been drinking warm beer and singing Brooks and Dunn tunes for over an hour. My truck-mate is tired of my singing. He suggests that perhaps Brooks and Dunn have written other good songs besides "You're Going to Miss Me When I'm Gone" and "Neon Moon" and that maybe listening to only those two songs, ten times each was a bit excessive. Perhaps, he suggests, I could just let the CD play on its own. I tell him to **** off and restart "Neon Moon."

8:30 PM - We arrive at the Erwin Center. My buddy, against my loud and profane protestations, parks on the top floor of a nearby parking garage. I tell him he's an idiot. I tell him we will never get out. I tell him we may as well pitch a ****ing tent here. He ignores me. I think he's still pissed about the Brooks and Dunn tunes. I whistle "Neon Moon" loudly.

8:47 PM - I am rallying. I have 4 warm beers stuffed in my pants. We're going to kick the **** out of Arizona.

9:11 PM - Halftime score: Texas 31, Arizona 29. I am pleased. I go to the bathroom to pee for the 67th time today. I giggle to myself because of the new opportunity to do "the bathroom Brice." There are no Arizona fans in the bathroom. I am disappointed. I tell myself (out loud) that I have a "Niiiiiice ****." No one is amused but me.

9:41 PM - I walk to the bathroom while drinking Bud Light out of a can. Needless to say, they do not sell beer at the Erwin Center, much less Bud Light out of a can. An usher stops me: "Where did you get that, sir?" I tell him (no ****): "Oh, the cheerleaders were throwing them up with those little plastic foot balls. Would you mind throwing this away for me?" I take the last swig and hand it to him. He is confused. I pretend I'm going to the bathroom, but I run away giggling instead. I duck into some entrance to avoid the usher, who is now pursuing me. I sneak into a large group of people and sit down. The usher walks by harmlessly. I am giggling like a little girl. I crack open another can of Bud Light.

9:52 PM - I am lost. In my haste to avoid the usher, I have lost my bearings. I have no ticket stub. I cannot find my seats. Texas is losing.

10:09 PM - Texas is being screwed by the refs. I am enraged. I have cleared out the seats around me because I keep removing my hat and beating the surrounding chairs with it. A concerned fan asks if I’m OK and perhaps I shouldn't take it so seriously. I tell him to **** off.

10:15 PM - After the fourth consecutive "worst ****ing call I have EVER seen," I attempt to remove my hat again to begin beating inanimate objects. However, on this occasion I miscalculate and I thumbnail myself in my left eyelid, leaving a one-quarter inch **** over my eye. I am now bleeding into my left eye and all over my shirt. "Perhaps," I think to myself, "I'm taking this a bit seriously."

10:22 PM - I am standing in the bathroom peeing. I;m so drunk I am swaying and grunting. I have a bloody napkin pressed on my left eye. My pants are bloody. I have my (formerly) white shirt wrapped around my waist. I look like I should be in an episode of Cops.

10:43 PM - Texas has lost. I put my bloody white shirt back on my body and make my way for the exits. I am stopped every 20 seconds by a good Samaritan/cop/security guard to ask me why I am covered in blood, but I merely grunt incoherently and keep moving.

10:59 PM - With my one good eye, I have located the parking garage. I walk up six flights of stairs. . . promise that when I see my friend I will punch him in the face for making me walk up six flights of stairs. . . find the truck .. . . and collapse in a heap in the bed of the truck. I look around and notice that traffic is lined up all the way around the garage, six whole flights, and no one is moving . . . I take a nap.

11:17 PM - I awake from my nap. I see my friend in the driver's seat.. I lift my head to look out the bed of the truck and notice that traffic is lined up all the way around the garage, six whole flights, and no one is moving. I am too tired to punch my friend. I call my friend a "Stupid ****tard."

11:31 PM - I lift my head to look out the bed of the truck and notice that traffic is lined up all the way around the garage, six whole flights, and no one is moving. I call my friend a "stupid ****tard."

11:38 PM - I lift my head to look out the bed of the truck and notice that traffic is lined up all the way around the garage, six whole flights, and no one is moving. I call my friend a "stupid ****tard."

11:47 PM - I lift my head to look out the bed of the truck and notice that traffic is lined up all the way around the garage, six whole flights, and no one is moving. I call my friend a "stupid ****tard."

11:58 PM - I am jostled. The truck is moving. I lift my head to look out the bed of the truck and notice that traffic is beginning to move on the second floor. I jump out of the truck, walk to the edge of the parking facility, and pee off the sixth floor onto the street below. My friend looks at me like I just anally violated his minor sister. I turn around and pee on the front of his truck while singing the lyrics to "Neon Moon."

12:11AM - We are moving. We are out of beer. I jump from the truck and go from vehicle to vehicle until someone gives me two beers. I am happy. I return to my vehicle.

12:26 AM - We have emerged from the parking facility. We make our way to my apartment and find Ed sitting on the couch with a freshly opened bottle of Glenlivet on the coffee table in front of him. . . . . We are all going to die tonight.

12:59 AM - We have finished three-quarters of the bottle of Glenlivet. We decide it would be a wonderful idea to go dancing at PollyEsther's. Ed has to pee. He walks down the hall to our apartment and directly into the full-length mirror at the end of the hall, smashing it into hundreds of pieces. We giggle uncontrollably and leave for PollyEsther's.

1:17 AM - The PollyEsther's doorman laughs uncontrollably at our efforts to enter his club. "Fellas," he says in between his fits of spastic laughter, "I've been working this door for almost a year. I've been working doors in this town for almost 5 years. And I can honestly say that I ain't never seen three drunker mother****ers than you three. Sorry, can't let you in." We attempt to reason with him. He laughs harder.

1:44 AM - We find a bar that lets us in. We take two steps in the door and hear "Last call for alcohol!" I turn to the group and mutter: "See, dat wasn't that ****in' hard. Day don't ****in' do that at the Awamo...the awaom...the alab....**** it, that stadium we was at today..." We order 6 shots of tequila and three beers.

2:15 AM - Back on the street. We need food. We hail a cab to take us the two and one half blocks to Katz's. The cab fare is $1.60. We give him $10 and tell him to keep it.

2:17 AM - There is a 20-minute wait. We give the hostess $50. We are seated immediately.

2:25 AM - We order two orders of fried pickles, a Cobb salad, a bowl of soup, two orders of Blueberry blintzes, two Rueben sandwiches, a hamburger, two cheese stuffed potatoes, an order of fries, and an order of onion rings.

2:39 AM - The food arrives. We are all asleep with our heads on the table. The waiter wakes us up. We eat every ****ing bit of our food. Most of the restaurant patrons around us are disgusted. We don't give a ****. The tab is $112 with tip.

2:46 AM - I'm sleepy.

9:12 AM - I wake up next to a strange woman. She is the bartender at Katz's. She is not pretty.

[Gnam]

"We are going to kick the **** out of Alabama."
- Tim Tebow


Roll Tide!

[dando]

Breaking news....nasty divorce coming soon. Apparently Urban has been cheating on Tebow. :gomer:

Goters. Sugar Bowl. 2nd Heistman. Not gonna happen. :gomer:

It's a biotch pulling for either of these teams, but I'll take Goter hate over Roll Tide/pompous Saban hate. :D

-Kevin

[WickerBill]

Florida isn't even trying anything down the field, and can't run. So a load of 3 - 7 yard passes.


(next play: long Tebow pass...d'oh)

[dando]

Florida isn't even trying anything down the field, and can't run. So a load of 3 - 7 yard passes.


(next play: long Tebow pass...d'oh)

That's the O they have this season...w/o Harvin to make those short passes into big plays, they were toast. Tebow just isn't consistent with the long ball.

And now....GO HUSKERS! :D

-Kevin

[dando]

Sexy game, Ank, sexy. :yuck: :saywhat: And you want to carp about The Game last month. :irked:

-Kevin

[IlliniRacer]

Another potential coach takes himself out of running at Notre Dame -

Linky (http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/christ_turns_down_3_year)

:rofl:

[Ankf00]

Sexy game, Ank, sexy. :yuck: :saywhat: And you want to carp about The Game last month. :irked:

-Kevin

I've said it all year, our o-line sucks. Their DT's were in our backfield even on the 3 step drops.

We still didn't get our s*** pushed in by Purdue though, now did we?


I'll take old ugly over old nothing.

[dando]

We still didn't get our s*** pushed in by Purdue though, now did we?


5 TOs tell the story of the game, yo. Keep in mind Purdoo also took the Ducks to the wire in Autzen. *shrug*

Still that game last night put Bevo to sleep. :saywhat:

I think the Heistman should doled out in pieces this year. :D

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

if it's going to go to a RB, it needs to go to Spiller or Gerhart. Ingram has 15 TDs.

Let that sink in: Fifteen.

Should go to Suh, he's been wrecking shop all year but most haven't been able to watch out East.

[Don Quixote]

Suh is a monster.

[dando]

if it's going to go to a RB, it needs to go to Spiller or Gerhart. Ingram has 15 TDs.

Let that sink in: Fifteen.

Should go to Suh, he's been wrecking shop all year but most haven't been able to watch out East.

What's sucks are the early voters. Guys like Suh won't get fair consideration for their one shot in the spotlight. Something like 1/3 of the voters vote early (or before the championship games are played). :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

ramp lady

I8Xgp5vtZAk



With Ramp Lady attending so many Bama functions, most would think she’s a Tuscaloosa resident, right?

Wrong.

“I still stay in Prattville, I drive up here for anything,” she said. “I never went to the University, I just grew up bleedin’, living and breathing Crimson Tide football.”

[Gnam]

“I never went to the University, I just grew up bleedin’, living and breathing Crimson Tide football.”

In 'bama if you went to the school, you're not a real fan because you didn't have a choice who to root for. :gomer:

[Don Quixote]

ramp lady


Yeah, like there's nobody like that in Austin. :gomer:

[Ankf00]

Yeah, like there's nobody like that in Austin. :gomer:

not like this

http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp61/kushphog/340x.jpg

http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp61/kushphog/alabama-pros.jpg

http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp61/kushphog/aalabalmaafootball.jpg

well ok we have that last one, but at least ours can spell. it's the little differences in life that make it worth living:gomer:


dont got this though
http://i398.photobucket.com/albums/pp61/kushphog/superbammertm6.jpg

or this
q-Q6vRLaqe8


we do have snuggie wizards though

http://usera.imagecave.com/Thujone/Snuggie1.jpg

[Ankf00]

I wonder if we can hack the Rose Bowl PA system to pipe in the spanish SAP feed.

http://videos.utexasclan.com/view.php?id=7221


^^^ I want THAT.

[Don Quixote]

^ Awesome. I expected him to yell gooooooooooooaaaaaaaaallllllll!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Don Quixote]

Kelly to ND.

link (http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20091210/SPT0101/312100083/1064/Report++Kelly+to+Notre+Dame)

[dando]

Kelly to ND.

link (http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20091210/SPT0101/312100083/1064/Report++Kelly+to+Notre+Dame)

http://www.offcamber.net/forums/showpost.php?p=266729&postcount=269

*waves*

:gomer: :p

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

In a month some golden domer kool-aide drinker will release a book about Kelly's legacy at Notre Dame. "The New Gold Standard" title is taken, so they will have to come up with a different one.

[Ankf00]

"Straight Platinum, Bitches." ?

[WickerBill]

"The Weight Is Over"?

[dando]

Uh huh. :irked: :saywhat:

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/news/story?id=4758848


Schenter also said he is a University of Washington fan who has "nothing to do with agents, marketing players or representing athletes" despite his ownership of the Web domain www.4joemcknight.com, which he says has not been renewed.

"I own so many Web site domains that I only purchased www.4joemcknight.com [didn't renew] because I thought it was clever along with the many other ones I own/owned," Schenter wrote in the e-mails.

Schenter said a company he founded in May 2008, USC Marketing, stood for for "United States China Marketing," and that despite being an employee for the Los Angeles County's Assessor's office, he would "rather be known for my expertise in marketing and finance ventures."

USC, already under review by the NCAA and Pac-10 regarding accusations that running back Reggie Bush and basketball star O.J. Mayo received improper benefits during their time at the school, is investigating McKnight's use of the vehicle.

:shakehead :thumdown:

If the NC2A doesn't come down on these bozos soon, it proves itself to be a farce.

-Kevin

[dando]

we do have snuggie wizards though


How long does it take you to make one of those, F00. :gomer:

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

Letter to LA Times from guy that owns the Land Rover that McKnight was driving. Veeeerrrrrrryyyyyy credible explanation.

oh brother (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/sports_blog/2009/12/joe-mcknight-story-was-rushed-santa-monica-businessman-says.html)