Tiger Woods

[Opposite Lock]

^^^good stoof.:thumbup:

from the comments section of a Yahoo story from earlier today:

I heard that Phil Mickleson contacted Elin this morning to get some pointers from her on how to beat Tiger.

:laugh:

[chop456]

Something about this hole thing smelled funny from the beginning.

:saywhat::laugh:

[Lux Interior]

I've lost all respect for the man. He had a great wife - she never paraded around in public, she didn't act all important and arrogant, and she was truly a beauty - and he has to bang some reality show TV tramp who looks like she has been rode hard and put away wet a few times.


Tiger, you're a loser. :thumdown:

[dando]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2753973/Tiger-I-let-down-my-family.html

Another name surfaces, and check out the pics of the SUV....both the rear passenger and driver side windows are busted out. :eek: Perhaps Elin should ply her trade on the LPGA tour. :gomer: Countdown to Tiger and Elin on Oprah in 3, 2, 1... ;) :D

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

Yes, if you are trying to rescue somebody who was in a crash, it is always best to break all the windows in the vehicle with a 3-iron. :gomer:

[dando]

Yes, if you are trying to rescue somebody who was in a crash, it is always best to break all the windows in the vehicle with a 3-iron. :gomer:

Imagine what she could do with a driver. :gomer:

I can't find it now, but CNN had a link to a report by one of the local news outlets that quoted the neighbor and the cops that Tiger was in the street snoring. Srsly. This just can't get any stranger. :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Gnam]

Is that from the Britney Spears book of first aid?

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3053/britneyj.jpg

[TrueBrit]

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2753973/Tiger-I-let-down-my-family.html

Another name surfaces, and check out the pics of the SUV....both the rear passenger and driver side windows are busted out. :eek: Perhaps Elin should ply her trade on the LPGA tour. :gomer: Countdown to Tiger and Elin on Oprah in 3, 2, 1... ;) :D

-Kevin

You know what's funny about that link? The picture of the tart in the white bikini has been *ahem* edited... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232880/Tiger-Woods-Nightclub-hostess-Rachel-Uchitel-public-relationship.html

See if you can spot the difference...

The Sun (newspaper featuring topless birds on page 3) decides to be more modest than the Daily Fail....:eek::D

[dando]

You know what's funny about that link? The picture of the tart in the white bikini has been *ahem* edited... http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1232880/Tiger-Woods-Nightclub-hostess-Rachel-Uchitel-public-relationship.html

See if you can spot the difference...

The Sun (newspaper featuring topless birds on page 3) decides to be more modest than the Daily Fail....:eek::D

Thanks for pointing that out TB...I hadn't noticed the chick in a bikini. *ahem* :D Nice catch. :cool:

-Kevin

[Napoleon]

See if you can spot the difference...



Yep - I thought it looked "unnatural" in the first picture.

[Sean Malone]

Escalade with rims. :gomer::rofl:

[dando]

Escalade with rims. :gomer::rofl:

Are those spinners? :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Napoleon]

The Sun (newspaper featuring topless birds on page 3) decides to be more modest than the Daily Fail....:eek::D

No, that isn't it. It has been tough in the newspaper business lately and what do you want to bet the Daily Fail's camel toe redaction specialist took an early retirement buy-out.

[Don Quixote]

Yep - I thought it looked "unnatural" in the first picture. There's lots of things that are "unnatural" in that photo. So, el tigre goes for the fake can look, it would seem.

[oddlycalm]

There's lots of things that are "unnatural" in that photo. So, el tigre goes for the fake can look, it would seem.
Right, his taste in recreational companions seems to be a match for his efforts at security and discretion.

The big winners in all this are Rupert Murdoch and his ilk.

oc

[Napoleon]

For those not clicking on the links, this diagram of everything he manage to hit is interesting.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/03/article-1232544-0770D6F4000005DC-523_634x502.jpg

[dando]

Thx for the address 411 Nappy. :) Tiger's lair. (http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=2Kz&resnum=0&q=6348+deacon+circle+windermere,+fl&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=6348+Deacon+Cir,+Windermere,+FL+34786&gl=us&ei=vjEYS7b0MsLblAfOuvjpAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CAkQ8gEwAA)

-Kevin

[Gnam]

For those not clicking on the links, this diagram of everything he manage to hit is interesting.
Were the rear passenger windows broken out in his driveway or at Final Rest?

BTW this is evidence that street racing is just as costly in terms of damaged equipment as racing on an oval. Projected damages are at 300 mil. :p

[dando]

Were the rear passenger windows broken out in his driveway or at Final Rest?

BTW this is evidence that street racing is just as costly in terms of damaged equipment as racing on an oval. Projected damages are at 300 mil. :p

I was just posting a note that I'd like to see where the glass was found. Looks like he was avoiding several dogs. :gomer: I've heard reports that $5m was xferred to Elin's account, she gets an $80m stay bonus for staying w/him for two years, and has to sign an NDA to not reveal any of the sordid details. Also, the Uchitel presser was apparently canceled due to a financial settlement. Who said $$$ can't buy you love? :gomer: :shakehead :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Lux Interior]

Based upon what has gone on so far, I'd say Tiger is ready to play in the NBA. :thumbup:

[Gnam]

^ or run for office.

[grungex]

Yep - I thought it looked "unnatural" in the first picture.

Almost looks a little "manly"...

[emjaya]

Thx for the address 411 Nappy. :) Tiger's lair. (http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&safe=off&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&hs=2Kz&resnum=0&q=6348+deacon+circle+windermere,+fl&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=6348+Deacon+Cir,+Windermere,+FL+34786&gl=us&ei=vjEYS7b0MsLblAfOuvjpAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CAkQ8gEwAA)

-Kevin

He is a billionaire and he lives that close to his neighbours. :saywhat:

[Lux Interior]

In regard to ElTigre, I think Aldo Nova summed it best when he wisely sang "See the girls with the dresses so tight - give you love if the price is right"

I don't think Tiger is going to be living his fantasy life anymore:D


bb2tGQ_7KUI

[TravelGal]

Unless there is a nasty divorce I doubt we'll know for sure what really happened.


Pretty close to nailing it on Day One, KL, pretty close. :cool:

[chop456]

I think Aldo Nova summed it best

I'm pretty sure this is the only place those words have ever been used. :laugh:

[Napoleon]

He is a billionaire and he lives that close to his neighbours. :saywhat:

That is the first thing I thought, but then again if I had unlimited funds I would never have a huge house (but it would cutting edge) but instead would prefer a nicer bigger yard (which is pretty much what I have, well at least the yard and not a huge house).

Separately WTF is it with him living in Orlando? No offense to Orlando, and its been 35 years since I have been there, but I have to imagine that it is a city that is a boring cookie cutter place right off the drawing board of a mediocre land developer. Does that city have seriously good restaurants, interesting things to do, etc. etc? I get it that maybe he would not want to deal with winter in a place like say NYC or Chicago but even if I were going to pick someplace warm I have to imagine that Miami would be 1000% more interesting (hell, even Tampa - you could wander down to Ybor City and get some real Latin food and enjoy the ocean). Seriously, given the choice of living where I live in the Cleveland area vs. someplace like Orlando I would not even think twice about staying where I am at.

[Indy]

For those not clicking on the links, this diagram of everything he manage to hit is interesting.

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2009/12/03/article-1232544-0770D6F4000005DC-523_634x502.jpg

Anyone want to bet that the "no sign of intoxication" story was a complete coverup? Snoring. Ha! :laugh:

[Indy]

WTF is it with him living in Orlando?

Very good point, but for some reason it is the home for a great many pro golfers

IMO it is the worst of Florida - soulless, chain-dominated, all style and no substance. It is like Walt Disney faked the whole city as he did the robot bears. Furthermore, that area where Tiger lives is the epitome of nouveau riche and tasteless. Even in the Orlando area there are places which have some character, but he chose McBillionaireDigs Lane.

But, hey, what do I know, I live in Indianapolis. :gomer:

[WickerBill]

It's a tax reason, isn't it? I thought I remembered reading something about Orlando and Vegas being the best places to live to avoid local income tax.

[Indy]

It's a tax reason, isn't it? I thought I remembered reading something about Orlando and Vegas being the best places to live to avoid local income tax.

Florida has no income tax. For most people it is a fool's bargain. Everything else there, including property taxes, are sky-high. If you have a very high income, however, it saves you close to 5% (or whatever you would pay in a regular state minus the other increased taxes and fees).

[Napoleon]

It's a tax reason, isn't it? I thought I remembered reading something about Orlando and Vegas being the best places to live to avoid local income tax.

As Indy says not state income tax like Nevada, but my guess is the savings for him may be as much as you imagine. If he wins $100,000 in Georgia, wouldn't it be subject to Ga income tax?

On top of it Fla has an added financial benefit in that the state homestead exemption is basically unlimited, unlike all or nearly all other states, and since the state homestead exemption in incorporated into Fed. Bank. law it is a great way to sheild a huge chunk of money from creditors (although it is hard to see why he would have to worry about that).

[Napoleon]

McBillionaireDigs Lane.

:thumbup:

Can I steal that from you at some point in the future?

[TrueBrit]

I'm pretty sure this is the only place those words have ever been used. :laugh:

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[TrueBrit]

It is like Walt Disney faked the whole city as he did the robot bears.

Wait...the bears aren't real?

[Don Quixote]

Wait...the bears aren't real?
They are, but like the Monkeys, they aren't really playing their instruments. :)

[Don Quixote]

http://www.radaronline.com/sites/default/files/photos/image_20091201/tigerobama350.jpg

[Napoleon]

Tip #1 - Keep the wife away from the clubs.

Tip #2 - Make sure someone else drives you around.

Tip #3 - Live in a house that has a big yard so that if you decide to take a nap in it and start snoring your neighbors will not tell the press. Better yet, have guards armed with anti-aircraft missiles to keep the press away while you nap.

Tip #4 - Stay away from Orlando and live in a real city with some history to it other then Goofy and an animatronic version of President Lincoln. If the city has to have a Lincoln, a marble one would be much better, and it should be located on the winning side of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Tip #5 - Stay away from Cadillacs with cheesy rims.

Tip #6 - Have people call you by a name that does not remind everyone of Winnie the Pooh and has some gravitas to it.

Tip #7 - Stay away from trampy woman, they will bring you nothing but grief. If you don't believe me ask the guy who vacated your current digs almost 9 years ago, but don't mention it to his wife (and if you do, see Tip #1).

Tip #8 - Try to show up for your own charity events.

Tip #9 - Take up basketball instead of golf since it is much more masculine.

Tip 10?

[Napoleon]

Oh, Tip #10, in the event the wife gets her hands on your clubs despite your best attempts to implement Tip #1, make sure your Cadillac has really thick windows and doors so she can't get to you with them.

[G.]

10. Take a break from golf. In Tiger's last outing, he hit a tree and ended up with a bad lie.

[Sean Malone]

How about 'Don't get married if you're not done playing the field'...

[FTG]

Jesus Tiger. Either be married and don't screw around- or don't be married and just bang everything in sight.
JH

Make the wife sign a pre nup, bang everything is sight and lock up the golf clubs would be my choice. Two cell phones is probably a good idea too.

[nrc]

IMO it is the worst of Florida - soulless, chain-dominated, all style and no substance. It is like Walt Disney faked the whole city as he did the robot bears. Furthermore, that area where Tiger lives is the epitome of nouvou riche and tasteless. Even in the Orlando area there are places which have some character, but he chose McBillionaireDigs Lane.

You nailed it exactly. We lived there for five years just after we got married and we couldn't get out fast enough. Add in the miserable heat, giant flying roaches, and a terrible 1 hour plus drive to any decent beach and you have everything bad about Florida and not much of the good.

[chop456]

giant flying roaches.

"Palmetto Bugs". Yeah, right! :laugh:

After reading about the real estate bust around Orlando a few months back, I hit realtor.com out of curiosity. You can get a decent-looking condo for like $13.99 these days. Sure, it's still Orlando... I'm just sayin'.

[TravelGal]

"Palmetto Bugs". Yeah, right! :laugh:



I remember once, in my younger days, seeing a "palmetto bug" in the kitchen and going after it with a fly swatter. It was like trying to bring down an airplane with pea shooter. After several minutes of whacking the dickens out of everything but the bug, my mother inquired meekly from the livingroom, "Is there anything left of the kitchen?" I laughed so hard, I had to give up my big game hunt.

[Lux Interior]

I remember once, in my younger days, seeing a "palmetto bug" in the kitchen and going after it with a fly swatter. It was like trying to bring down an airplane with pea shooter. After several minutes of whacking the dickens out of everything but the bug, my mother inquired meekly from the livingroom, "Is there anything left of the kitchen?" I laughed so hard, I had to give up my big game hunt.

Reminds me of one of my all time favorite monty python skits.

It's a game of wits - you hate him, you respect him, then you kill him:rofl:

SI7zVF8YSDA&feature=related

[pchall]

Anyone want to bet that the "no sign of intoxication" story was a complete coverup? Snoring. Ha! :laugh:

Either a cover up for a drink or four too many or the wife had already taken the 3 iron to the side of his head before he got in.

[dando]

Either a cover up for a drink or four too many or the wife had already taken the 3 iron to the side of his head before he got in.

There was a mention of prescription meds when the story first broke. That's one reason I called shenanigans when the cops didn't bother to pursue toxicology results from the hospital. Again, if this were you me, we would have been busted. :irked:

-Kevin

[Gnam]

maybe he was laying the groundwork for the sleep walking defense. :gomer:

[TKGAngel]

There was a mention of prescription meds when the story first broke. That's one reason I called shenanigans when the cops didn't bother to pursue toxicology results from the hospital. Again, if this were you me, we would have been busted. :irked:

-Kevin

I was reading that one of the chippies mentioned that she and Tiger would have encounters in an Ambien fueled haze.

[dando]

I was reading that one of the chippies mentioned that she and Tiger would have encounters in an Ambien fueled haze.

:eek: If he's using Ambien, that could explain a lot. :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Indy]

:thumbup:

Can I steal that from you at some point in the future?

Go for it. But it may be an actual street in Isleworth. I think it runs between Tasteless Trace and Douchebag Drive.

[TRANSAM]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOXCiazVD4k

[oddlycalm]

Somewhere Fuzzy Zoeller is laughing his tail off...:\

oc

[Cam]

Somewhere Fuzzy Zoeller is laughing his tail off...:\

oc

:laugh::laugh::laugh: Fuzzy is a character. Tiger is a robot.

[trish]

Here's outed alleged girlfriend number four. http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b156713_mom_confirms_tiger_woods_latest_alleged.ht ml?utm_source=eonline&utm_medium=rssfeeds&utm_campaign=rss_topstories

[chop456]

^ Eww. Dude - you're a GAZZILIONAIRE. :saywhat: :laugh:

[Don Quixote]

The word "trashy" doesn't even come close. That chick looks like one from Michael Phelp's hareem.

[extramundane]

^ Eww. Dude - you're a GAZZILIONAIRE. :saywhat: :laugh:

Bill Clinton and Steve Phillips are confused by your reaction.

[dando]

SNL last night.

http://www.geoffshackelford.com/homepage/2009/12/6/snl-on-tiger-woods.html

:rofl:

-Kevin

[dando]

Here we go again...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2760424/Tiger-Woods-women-cash-in-with-big-money-deals.html

:yuck:

Dude has some seriously bad taste in chicks. :saywhat:

-Kevin

[Don Quixote]

Seven! I must have missed five and six.

[dando]

Seven! I must have missed five and six.

He must have hit one in the water or OB. :gomer:

-Kevin

[extramundane]

Here we go again...

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2760424/Tiger-Woods-women-cash-in-with-big-money-deals.html

:yuck:

Dude has some seriously bad taste in chicks. :saywhat:

-Kevin

Bet he wishes he hadn't canned Fluff now.

[KLang]

He sure has been a busy boy. This is going to cost him a fortune. :saywhat:

[G.]

Almost got the back nine completed.

Any guesses what the final count will be?

[TKGAngel]

I'm surprised the existence of more Tiger cubs hasn't been a part of these sordid details.

[dando]

Almost got the back nine completed.

Any guesses what the final count will be?

8 under par...question is what's par? ;) :gomer:

-Kevin

[SteveH]

I did him also.

Tiger, if you're reading this, PM me for my address. A couple of million an I'll keep quiet. ;)

[Don Quixote]

I did him also.

Tiger, if you're reading this, PM me for my address. A couple of million an I'll keep quiet. ;)You slut! :D

[dando]

I did him also.

Tiger, if you're reading this, PM me for my address. A couple of million an I'll keep quiet. ;)

8.

:D

-Kevin

[Gnam]

If it's found he was using performance enhancing drugs, will they * the notches on his belt?


Tip #10: Always yell 'FORE' before putting a car in drive.


:p

[Napoleon]

I did him also.

I knew it, Tiger swings both ways.

[datachicane]

Man, some of these chicks must have amazing personalities.
:saywhat:

[emjaya]

Man, some of these chicks must have amazing personalities.
:saywhat:
From Dando's link:


Mindy said: "All he wanted me for was sex."

Another alleged lover, New York socialite Rachel Uchitel, 34, is reported to have sealed a million-dollar to keep quiet.

And Jaimee Grubbs, 24, who claims to have had 20 sex romps with Tiger, is in talks to pose naked for Playboy.

[High Sided]

you guys made me go looking..
hope this is new,
OEkomaBTppY

[dando]

http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2009/12/world-exclusive-tiger-woods-wife-moves-out

And now she's really pizzled. Must have been Steve H's revelation this afternoon. :gomer:

-Kevin

[trish]

Seven! I must have missed five and six.

Make sure to view the slide show. (http://bleacherreport.com/articles/304383-the-tiger-bunch-ranking-tigers-women) After looking at some of his "lady" friends, I'm expecting an announcement that Tiger is going into rehab for some sort of drug problem.

edit: It's kind of an insult that they would include his wife at the end of the slide show. Of course it's not as big as the insult of being married to this man.

[oddlycalm]

This is going to cost him a fortune. :saywhat:
Yup, the sponsors that do hang in will no doubt be demanding fee adjustments and pre-nup rev 2.0 will be a killer. The longer it goes on the more expensive it will be.

oc

[Gnam]

[Jungers] then went home the next day to her fiance and told him that she met Tiger Woods and got his number. Her fiance was a huge Tiger fan and was really excited about that, not realizing that she had slept with him the night before.
Cold as ice.

Rumors are Tiger's wife has moved out. He'll be golfing with OJ pretty soon.

[High Sided]

He'll be golfing with OJ pretty soon.

nobody golfs with oj:laugh: poor oj:shakehead

tiger makes a schumacher divorce look cheap:p

[Napoleon]

He'll be golfing with OJ pretty soon.

And together they will find the guy who really slept with all those women.


I just read that Playgirl is negotiating to buy some nude photos one of them took of Tiger.

[trish]

Cold as ice.

Rumors are Tiger's wife has moved out. He'll be golfing with OJ pretty soon.

OJ is in prison.

[cameraman]

I just read that Playgirl is negotiating to buy some nude photos one of them took of Tiger.

I doubt it, they would need a signed release from Woods.

[trish]

I doubt it, they would need a signed release from Woods.

I don't know. If he let her take the picture and keep it, I say the photo belongs to her to do with as she pleases.

[Napoleon]

It just keeps getting better and better for Tiger (http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/tiger-woods-drama-ambulance-called-golfers-neighborhood/story?id=9277414)

To summarize an ambulance left his house overnight with a woman, but the suggestion is it may have been a relative of his wife. His wife bought a house in Sweden.

Also Tiger has now completed the back nine with the addition of a porn star (who appeared in "OMG, Stop Tickling Me") and pancake watress from Perkins to the list.

[TrueBrit]

Jeebus, when the wheels come off, they REALLY come off don't they??

If it was one or two reasonably good looking birds he might have survived in the court of public opinion, done the obligatory Oprah weepy apology show, blamed it on prescription drugs and moved on....but nine (that we know off) and most of them dodgy boilers..Not a chance..

No wonder his golf game suffered, he was too knackered out from all of the "off the menu" shagging...

What a world-class wanker he turned out to be...

[KLang]

I predict he will enter 'treatment' for something and emerge 'good as new' a few months down the road.

[Napoleon]

Jeebus, when the wheels come off, they REALLY come off don't they??


Not only did the wheels come off but he careened off a cliff into a river where he caught on fire and now is burning to a crisp. This is an epic implosion.

[dando]

This is an epic implosion.

And that's an understatement. :eek:

I still can't get my mind wrapped around the chick from Perkins. :saywhat: :shakehead :yuck:

-Kevin

[Napoleon]

I still can't get my mind wrapped around the chick from Perkins.

Did you read the story? It gets better, she claims he liked to spank her, etc etc.

[dando]

Did you read the story? It gets better, she claims he liked to spank her, etc etc.

Yup. The whole sordid thing. :saywhat:

Throughout all of this I keep thinking to myself, what would Earl think? :saywhat: He's got to be rolling in his grave now.

-Kevin

[TrueBrit]

Throughout all of this I keep thinking to myself, what would Earl think? :saywhat: He's got to be rolling in his grave now.

-Kevin

Yup...I thought the same thing...

[Opposite Lock]

Not only did the wheels come off but he careened off a cliff into a river where he caught on fire and now is burning to a crisp. This is an epic implosion.

Sounds like a scene from Driven.
http://blstb.msn.com/i/69/AC4A64C4DDB5E5611BB95E37F2.jpg
:gomer:

[TravelGal]

It just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser. What is it with him and 2 AM and why to does it always involve the paramedics? Sheesh. :shakehead

[Sean Malone]

It just keeps getting curiouser and curiouser. What is it with him and 2 AM and why to does it always involve the paramedics? Sheesh. :shakehead

If I were that rich I wouldn't sleep either. There's only 24 hours in a day to play with your money. That's not enough time.

[Don Quixote]

"Tiger Woods is Horrible in Bed"

Eghads, after all the practice he has had ... :laugh:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2757720/Tiger-Woods-is-horrible-in-bed-according-to-lover-Jaimee-Grubbs.html

[dando]

"Tiger Woods is Horrible in Bed"

Eghads, after all the practice he has had ... :laugh:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2757720/Tiger-Woods-is-horrible-in-bed-according-to-lover-Jaimee-Grubbs.html

Perhaps SteveH can confirm. :gomer: :D

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

A police report on the crash released Monday showed that a Florida trooper who suspected Woods was driving under the influence sought a subpoena for the golfer’s blood results from the hospital he was taken to after the crash, but prosecutors rejected the petition for insufficient information.

A witness, who wasn’t identified in the report, told trooper Joshua Evans that Woods had been drinking alcohol earlier. The same witness also said Woods had been prescribed two drugs, Ambien and Vicodin.

[Sean Malone]

Mmm... Ambien, Vicodin and some liquor....Sounds like tiger was in full blown party mood. My guess is he mixed up his wife's name for one of the others and that's when she reached for the 3 iron. He tried to escape but she chased his butt down. :rofl: