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View Full Version : Signs you'll never be a successful race car driver


Rob
03-02-04, 12:57 PM
Your sponsors are Band-Aid, Bondo, and "uh oh, better get" Maaco
According to the decal below the roll-over bar, your name is "Pokey McSpinalot"
The staff of F1rejects.com begs Eddie Jordan to hire you
You silently recite the saying "Righty tighty, lefty loosey" to help you describe your car's handling on ovals
Your paddock bike has training wheels
You hire an agent based on his ability to hypnotise prospective employers
You're too slow to qualify for this year's Indy 500
Your entire vocabulary for technical feedback comprises of "sucks" and "totally awesome"
Your crash helmet is made by Schwinn
At driver's meetings, the speaker repeatedly looks directly at you and asks "Got that, mister?"
Sarah Fisher offers you driving advice
Your local road course names a gravel trap after you
theunions
03-02-04, 01:11 PM
Your sponsors are Band-Aid

Dale Jarrett? :D
JLMannin
03-02-04, 01:17 PM
I've got one:

You tape $20 bills donated by fans to your car as "sponsors"
pchall
03-02-04, 03:03 PM
Don't show this thread to Nappy... ;)
fourrunner
03-02-04, 04:03 PM
Tony's gonna pay for 14 cars to fill the field at this years Indy 500, and your # 20 on the list, and your the only one willing to pay for the ride!
fourrunner
03-02-04, 04:05 PM
Sarah Fisher says she has the "Hots" for you right after you've had a Big Lunch!
fourrunner
03-02-04, 04:08 PM
Your Dream is to just be "Half" as good as "King Hiro"
RacinM3
03-02-04, 04:17 PM
You're a grandson of some guy named Foyt
SteveH
03-02-04, 04:51 PM
You've just been voted the IRL's most popular driver.
manic mechanic
03-02-04, 10:14 PM
Your greatest benefactors (your parents) "saw the talent" at an early age, and are now majority stockholders in the Oil-Dri Corporation. :D
devilmaster
03-02-04, 10:47 PM
Don't show this thread to Nappy... ;)


OOOO! Call out Nappy..... Cool, he's been hiding way too much anyways... :D

Steve
cart7
03-03-04, 06:27 AM
Even with a wallet full of cash, the IPS team owner suggests you get several more years experience in Karts before trying to come up to the big-time. In the mean time, he offers you the job as Corey Witheralls left-rear tire changer.
Michaelhatesfans
03-03-04, 11:26 AM
If you were a central character on a Fox television show about Beverly Hills teenagers.
Fio1
03-06-04, 02:56 AM
The most expensive advertising spot on your car is the undertray! :rofl:

The promoter's track insurance policy increases by 50% when your name apears on the entry list.

HANS not only gives you their head and neck devices for free, but you actually get a salary from them for field testing them....
DaveL
03-08-04, 02:02 AM
You're a grandson of some guy named Foyt

Nuts, that was gonna be mine....