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Spicoli
07-19-04, 08:34 AM
Miller Issues IRL Mid-season Report Cards
Written by: Robin Miller
7/18/2004


Whenever you grade a race team or driver, more often than not you grate on them because they feel you don't understand the nuances of their particular situation. Or that you're unfairly picking on them.

Many years ago when I began this practice at a newspaper whose name escapes me, Roger Penske was aghast after I'd given Team Penske a C-minus. I found it pretty humorous that one of the richest, most powerful and successful people in this country would be the least bit bothered by one person's opinion but I was subsequently dropped from The Captain's Christmas card list.

With that thought in mind, it's time for the Indy Racing League's mid-season report cards and, trust me, it's never been easier to grade a class.

There are a few As, a mass of mediocrity and a couple of major underaCHEEVERS.

If you disagree with any, or all, of these observations then please feel free to either email Dave Despain, Floyd Ganassi's son, the president of the Paul Page Fan Club or call Tony George collect.


GRADE A

ANDRETTI/GREEN: This four-headed monster and factory Honda team has won five of eight races and sits 1-2 in the point standings with Tony Kanaan and Dan Wheldon. With three victories, T.K. is driving smart and fast while Wheldon gave Honda it's biggest win ever at Motegi before his crew gave him a strategic win at Richmond.

RAHAL/LETTERMAN: After being shunned by Champ Car owners (including his current employer) and fired by Eddie Cheever, the unflappable Buddy Rice has finally found a home and a rhythm. His aggressive win at Indy was impressive and nobody has been consistenly quicker all season. Teammate Vitor Meira has also shined and had Nashville in the bag before a bad pit stop that wasn't his fault. He'll win one soon. Engineers Todd Bowland (Rice) and Ray Leto (Meira), plus tech director Tim Reiter also deserve high marks for this success story. As does the G-Force chassis.

HPD: Honda Performance Development has tipped the IRL's supposed level playing field into a one-sided rout. After losing the opener, Honda powered drivers have won seven staight races, seven poles and led an astounding 1,280 out of the last 1,430 laps of competition.


GRADE B-minus

TEAM PENSKE: Yes, Sam Hornish Jr. captured the season opener by a few feet over teammate Helio Castroneves, they were the class of the field at Richmond and they ran 2-3 at Nashville. And, yes, they are strapped with Toyota's out-classed engine, but for a team of this depth, stature and wealth, those results are still pretty pathetic.


GRADE C

SUPER AGURI/FERNANDEZ: Considering his late start and lack of IRL experience, Adrian Fernandez has been respectable. Teammate Kosuke Matsuura shows flashes of promise but looks like a rookie most of the time.

DRYER/REINBOLD: A one-car team with a small budget and a Chevrolet. Nuff said.

FOYT ENTERPRISES: A one-car team with a small budget, big owner, no engineer and a Toyota. Nuff said.

PATRICK RACING: A one-car team with a late start, no sponsor, three drivers and a Chevy. Nuff said.

MO NUNN RACING: A one-car team with a driver who can't speak much English, no chemistry and a Toyota. Nuff said.

KELLEY RACING: A one-car team with a driver who says all the right things after he crashes or finishes 15th, an owner who may not be around next year and a Toyota. Nuff said.

ACCESS MOTORSPORTS: A one-car team with no money, an owner who used to be a driver, a driver who might be better as an owner and a Honda. Nuff said.


GRADE D

RED BULL/CHEEVER: Alex Barron is much better than his team at the moment while rookie Ed Carpenter has crashed out of half the races. But I bet Eddie Cheever doesn't fire him.

PENNZOIL PANTHER: This once-dominant squad is down on power with a Chevworth but has been passed by with all the new CART blood in this series. Tomas Scheckter has been decent in qualifying but a fifth place is the lone result. Mark Taylor hit everything but the Queen Mother before being fired.

GENERAL MOTORS: After being saved by Cosworth in 2003, the Chevrolet is back at the back most days. Do they give their teams rebates?

ABC: Between Paul Page's shameless cheerleading and pandering, Jack The Root's inane observations and lack of anything approaching entertainment, it remains Always Bad Coverage.

GRADE F

TARGET/GANASSI: Incredibly, defending IRL champ Scott Dixon is nowhere in 2004, leading only three laps in the season opener, and is usually out-performed by teammate Darren Manning. If the rookie isn't hitting somebody, he's been pretty fast. But Chip Ganassi's experienced team lacks more than horsepower at the moment. The only good news? Very few interviews with the Chipster from his pit box.

TRD: Toyota Racing Development cleaned house in 2003 but is being swept under the door like so much dirt this year by arch rival Honda. Word is there's a fix on its way but it better come with a turbocharger. TRD swears NASCAR isn't taking away its focus, maybe just its development budget.

IRL: Failed to secure a full-time ride for Sarah Fisher, robbed the Leaders Circle Club to pay for the final few spots at the Indy 500 and allowed Honda to gain an unfair advantage, which may cost the League a few teams before it's all said and done.

Madmaxfan2
07-19-04, 09:12 AM
What can I say, it's the "THE TRUTH" by Robin. Will Tony pull Miller's press credentials or just not invite him to the Pagoda suite for Fried Chicken from Johnthian Bird's "Cafe" . What a treat to miss! :gomer: :gomer:

Chaos
07-19-04, 09:27 AM
Ilmor or Bust

Mr. Vengeance
07-19-04, 09:49 AM
Always nice to hear that Ganassi isn't having much success. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

FanofMario
07-19-04, 10:12 AM
Another good perspective by Robin---although I don't know how you can give Foyt's team a passing grade!


TARGET/GANASSI: Incredibly, defending IRL champ Scott Dixon is nowhere in 2004, leading only three laps in the season opener, and is usually out-performed by teammate Darren Manning. If the rookie isn't hitting somebody, he's been pretty fast. But Chip Ganassi's experienced team lacks more than horsepower at the moment. The only good news? Very few interviews with the Chipster from his pit box.

This was priceless. Poor Chip and Snotty!

Steve99
07-19-04, 12:18 PM
Wow! I thought Spicoli might have spiced that up a bit for us, but I went to speedtv.com and it is exactly the same. :eek:

Too bad RM didn't give Penske a C- again this year.

Spicoli
07-19-04, 06:15 PM
Wow! I thought Spicoli might have spiced that up a bit for us, but I went to speedtv.com and it is exactly the same. :eek:

Too bad RM didn't give Penske a C- again this year.


Who me? Exaggerate? Nah..... :shakehead

Although I did take great joy in posting and came up with the thread topic all on my own. :D


Rome is burning people.

Rogue Leader
07-19-04, 07:04 PM
my god that was hilarious..... :rofl:

nissan gtp
07-19-04, 09:08 PM
Who me? Exaggerate? Nah..... :shakehead

Although I did take great joy in posting and came up with the thread topic all on my own. :D

Rome is burning people.

hehe, good. Burn baby, burn. Smells like victory.

dando
07-19-04, 09:31 PM
GRADE C

FOYT ENTERPRISES: A one-car team with a small budget, big owner, no engineer and a Toyota. Nuff said.


Inconceivable. Did AJ threaten to kick RM's @ss, or RM just afraid the fat @ss will snap? :shakehead

-Kevin

FCYTravis
07-19-04, 09:31 PM
My question:

Since when has the EARL ever been anything BUT an F?

Spicoli
07-19-04, 09:48 PM
My question:

Since when has the EARL ever been anything BUT an F?



Travis:

I think version(s) 1 & 2.2 were cool if you was Cheeber, Beechler, Dizmore or a Lazier :gomer: They wanted to be gomer, and were doing pretty good at it!

I really had NO prollem with those early version gomertards. I mean, it filled a void and it was quite hilarious to watch (think Atlanta). But then TG got greedy and plied the Yen loose and peed off about 90% of the TF Gomerati, and at the same time triple peed off the remaining CC fans.

Why Greg Ray keeps trying is beyond me. I called kelly bailing and i'll say D&R is 90% not here next year. Why ANYONE gives Sammich Foytility any money is insane, and Red Bull has to be thinking about just ending the misery that is Cheeber.

There are no more opps for little guys, and it appears Yoda has sent most of their good engineers south now in preparation of them owning Daytona soon.

so what's left? Mikey the Whiner, and his gang of 4 morons battling out Super Goeey Fernandeth and whatever Rahole can whip up.

When it was "early EARL", it was a success because it was the elite gomers from circle track, and they were standing firm and almost making something of their Cwagon racing. Like I said, it was fun, sort of like watching cartoons. But now, its a bunch of drivers and owners whinging (Kanaan & Rahole) about not being able to be CART II, and the original Gomertards sitting in the cheap seats feeling betrayed by ___king Tony.

nrc
07-19-04, 10:17 PM
When it was "early EARL", it was a success because it was the elite gomers from circle track, and they were standing firm and almost making something of their Cwagon racing.


Spicoli declares "early EARL" "a success"? What planet is this again?


:D

BNica
07-19-04, 11:27 PM
When it was "early EARL", it was a success because it was the elite gomers from circle track, and they were standing firm and almost making something of their Cwagon racing. Like I said, it was fun, sort of like watching cartoons. But now, its a bunch of drivers and owners whinging (Kanaan & Rahole) about not being able to be CART II, and the original Gomertards sitting in the cheap seats feeling betrayed by ___king Tony.


Outside of Stewart, and those dudes who got one-offs at Indy :gomer: EARL was hardly a success for real 'circle trackers'. Heck if was more like CART backmarkers like Buddy 1.0, Sharp, going against old-timers and wannabees like Under-Achiever, Ward, Guerrero, and Gweg Way - road racers all.

:gomer:

The Gomers still lapped it up though.


Speaking off old times, Scott Harrington tried selling me a Mercedes a couple of weeks ago. :gomer:

4wheeldrifter
07-20-04, 07:20 AM
Inconceivable. Did AJ threaten to kick RM's @ss, or RM just afraid the fat @ss will snap? :shakehead

-Kevin

Miller would make a good snack for AJ Fat. Could serve him up with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. :p

cart7
07-20-04, 07:59 AM
Travis:

I think version(s) 1 & 2.2 were cool if you was Cheeber, Beechler, Dizmore or a Lazier :gomer: They wanted to be gomer, and were doing pretty good at it!

I really had NO prollem with those early version gomertards. I mean, it filled a void and it was quite hilarious to watch (think Atlanta). But then TG got greedy and plied the Yen loose and peed off about 90% of the TF Gomerati, and at the same time triple peed off the remaining CC fans.

Why Greg Ray keeps trying is beyond me. I called kelly bailing and i'll say D&R is 90% not here next year. Why ANYONE gives Sammich Foytility any money is insane, and Red Bull has to be thinking about just ending the misery that is Cheeber.

There are no more opps for little guys, and it appears Yoda has sent most of their good engineers south now in preparation of them owning Daytona soon.

so what's left? Mikey the Whiner, and his gang of 4 morons battling out Super Goeey Fernandeth and whatever Rahole can whip up.

When it was "early EARL", it was a success because it was the elite gomers from circle track, and they were standing firm and almost making something of their Cwagon racing. Like I said, it was fun, sort of like watching cartoons. But now, its a bunch of drivers and owners whinging (Kanaan & Rahole) about not being able to be CART II, and the original Gomertards sitting in the cheap seats feeling betrayed by ___king Tony.




Wow. I couldn't have said it better myself. :gomer:

Ankf00
07-20-04, 09:19 AM
gomerland: aggyland norte.

Madmaxfan2
07-20-04, 09:56 AM
Travis:

I think version(s) 1 & 2.2 were cool if you was Cheeber, Beechler, Dizmore or a Lazier :gomer: They wanted to be gomer, and were doing pretty good at it!

I really had NO prollem with those early version gomertards. I mean, it filled a void and it was quite hilarious to watch (think Atlanta). But then TG got greedy and plied the Yen loose and peed off about 90% of the TF Gomerati, and at the same time triple peed off the remaining CC fans.

Why Greg Ray keeps trying is beyond me. I called kelly bailing and i'll say D&R is 90% not here next year. Why ANYONE gives Sammich Foytility any money is insane, and Red Bull has to be thinking about just ending the misery that is Cheeber.

There are no more opps for little guys, and it appears Yoda has sent most of their good engineers south now in preparation of them owning Daytona soon.

so what's left? Mikey the Whiner, and his gang of 4 morons battling out Super Goeey Fernandeth and whatever Rahole can whip up.

When it was "early EARL", it was a success because it was the elite gomers from circle track, and they were standing firm and almost making something of their Cwagon racing. Like I said, it was fun, sort of like watching cartoons. But now, its a bunch of drivers and owners whinging (Kanaan & Rahole) about not being able to be CART II, and the original Gomertards sitting in the cheap seats feeling betrayed by ___king Tony.



In retrospect, the early EARL was clearly second rate and most everyone knew it. Only Tony & appointed courtyard and the gomers on TF acted like it was top level formula car racing. The big teams stayed away and so did YEN men. Thats now changed, and maybe not for the better. But it has forced OWRS act quickly and nimbly, which is what it's going to take to succeed.

Megger
07-20-04, 03:07 PM
Ahhh!! the first time I've been happy with a F on a report card. Ha ha Tony your series sucks!!! Just proves FTG can only make you dumber :gomer: