View Full Version : Texas Chili cookoff. Funny
I saw this at another forum, pretty funny.
Warning - If you can read this whole story without laughing out loud, then there's no hope for you.
Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a chili cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio city park. The notes are from an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."
Here are the scorecards from the event: Frank is Judge #3)
Chili # 1 Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy *****! What the hell is this stuff?! You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put out the flames. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2 Austin's Afterburner Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor; needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3 Ronny's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A bean less chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting s****- faced from all of the beer...
Chili # 4 Dave's Black Magic...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish, or other mild foods; not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue,! but was unable to taste it.. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Lisa's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ****es me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin, yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. I ***** on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Carla's Screaming Sensation Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho-hum; tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress, as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. ! I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing; it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili # 8 Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild, nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 farted, passed out, fell over, and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
:rofl:
chop456
01-18-05, 11:55 AM
Did that forum feature the "Ferrari Insanity Test" too? :rolleyes: :D
Had Texas chili once. Unimpressed. Ank knows the place, I'm sure. Across from campus, just down from Tower Records.
Bongo BBQ? Down 24th street a few streets back from Tower? Away from campus? That place blows... unless you're talking some other non bbq type place like Kerby Lane or something...
Gotta head south towards Lockhart or north to Elgin for the good stuff. mmmmm, cow.
Or go to the real chili-fest and wurst-fest
racer2c
01-18-05, 12:06 PM
There is a chain of resteraunts/pool hall here in Northern VA called the Hard Times Cafe. They are famous for their 'chili-mac'. Spaggeti topped with chili. they offer four chili styles.
Texas Chili
The Original. Coarse ground beef in its own juice, using an authentic
turn-of-the-century family recipe.
Cincinnati Chili
Introduced in 1922 by Greek
Immigrants, it is a fine grind of beef
with a tomato base and sweeter spices, including cinnamon.
Terlingua Red Chili
A tribute to the Texas ghost town that
hosted the first chili cook off.
A redder color and spicy kick of
championship chilies.
Vegetarian Chili
I alternate between the Terlingua Red and the Cincinnati. I like the Cincinnati on a foot long.
Now I'm in the mood for chili. :) And corn bread!
rosawendel
01-18-05, 12:16 PM
up this-a-way, we call cincinnati chili by the largest local chain name: "skyline", otherwise referred to as "skilini's". it's served over spaghetti with a monster amount of shredded mild cheddar cheese over it.
it's good on cold and / or rainy days.
more local story: they have a hot sauce akin to tabasco. it's better to "inject" the sauce under the spaghetti, rather than putting it on top. we refer to that as "burying the nose".
chop456
01-18-05, 12:45 PM
Bongo BBQ? Down 24th street a few streets back from Tower? Away from campus? That place blows... unless you're talking some other non bbq type place like Kerby Lane or something...
Gotta head south towards Lockhart or north to Elgin for the good stuff. mmmmm, cow.
Or go to the real chili-fest and wurst-fest
Found it. I was completely wrong as to the location. It's possible that I might not have been of sound mind and body when I was there. (And it was 12+ years ago)
It was the Texas Chili Parlor on LaVaca. Appropriate, no? Mooo....
Sean O'Gorman
01-18-05, 12:49 PM
I'm sorry, but whenever I hear the term Texas Chili Bowl, I think of South Park.
Doctor: "This kid had a Texas chili bowl."
Stan: "What's that?"
Doctor: "It involves Tabasco sauce, a telephone, and the anus."
Heh, no wonder Ank likes it so much. :laugh:
Found it. I was completely wrong as to the location. It's possible that I might not have been of sound mind and body when I was there. (And it was 12+ years ago)
It was the Texas Chili Parlor on LaVaca. Appropriate, no? Mooo....
hrm, wow, never been there before :confused: I'll believe the "sound mind and body" bit though, it had to have been for Tower to be a hop, skip, and a jump away ;)
Stupid judge #3...everyone knows ya don't put out the heat w/beer. :saywhat: :D
Just made my clan some of my roadkill special yesterday. Good stuff. :thumbup:
-Kevin
oddlycalm
01-18-05, 07:45 PM
:D Funny stuff, and I had a good laugh because it was well written, but also quite obviously total fiction from someone totally unfamiliar with real contest chili. Chili #3 & #4 were described as having beans in them, and anyone familiar with chili cookoffs knows that there are never beans in the product the judges see, although they are sometimes added to some of the chili that gets sold to the crowd. In a cookoff beans would be an automatic disqualification unless it was part of the wide open "chef's choice" category that some cookoffs have.
Competition chili that actually wins is also never all that hot. Again, for some contests chili cooks do turn up the heat on what gets sold to the crowd, depending on regional tastes. I use a couple chile powders that are past winners at Terlinqua as well as other national cookoffs, and they are pretty mild. My wife, a San Antonio native, doesn't care for really hot foods, and she likes the powders I use just fine.
I use Pendery's Top Hat as my first dump because of the great deep color, then I use Carol West's (1998 Terligua winner) for the 2nd and finish dumps. Pendery's sells pre-measured 3 dump packages based on several past winner's recipes, so order some for yourself, follow the recipe and you have some of that winning chili for your very own personal self... :gomer:
oc
BTW, the big Chile outfits in Cincinnati like Empress and Skyline use dark chocolate in their meat sauce for color and flavor. Chile and chocolate are often used together, however not in American cooking.
oc, with your culinary knowledge (see past threads on smoking, grilling, chili, etc.) you need to host an OffCamber get together when the Champcars come to Portland! :D
I was surprised to learn that most competition chilis are also put into a blender and have no "chunks" of stuff.
oddlycalm
01-18-05, 08:28 PM
oc, with your culinary knowledge (see past threads on smoking, grilling, chili, etc.) you need to host an OffCamber get together when the Champcars come to Portland! :D Good suggestion. Between the locals and the fly-ins we should be able to put together a pretty disreputable group. I'll talk to the wife and see if we can put something together here at Mildew Manor. Only disadvantage is that it's quite a haul from Portland.
Nothing like a good chili topic complete with fart humor to get me ready for race season. :gomer: :thumbup:
oc
/me goes and books his tix to Portland, mmmm, cow. :D
oddlycalm
01-19-05, 02:07 AM
/me goes and books his tix to Portland, mmmm, cow. :D Cow? Hell, I had in mind a big pot of chili w/ plenty of beans, some deviled eggs, sauerkraut and plenty of beer, and afterwards a competition or sorts.... :eek: :gomer:
Ahem..., sorry, cow it is. Brisket I think, as well as some pulled pork or St. Louis cut spareribs. Not exactly Kreutz Market, but they we have plates and utensils to make up for that. ;)
oc
Michaelhatesfans
01-19-05, 02:34 AM
Good suggestion. Between the locals and the fly-ins we should be able to put together a pretty disreputable group. I'll talk to the wife and see if we can put something together here at Mildew Manor. Only disadvantage is that it's quite a haul from Portland.
Nothing like a good chili topic complete with fart humor to get me ready for race season. :gomer: :thumbup:
oc
What part of town are you in, OC?
(MHF silently ponders whether or not the landscaping/vinyl siding removal will allow him to offer up his place by mid June... :saywhat: Hmm....)
Michaelhatesfans
01-19-05, 02:37 AM
"Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. woman is starting to look HOT"
Man, I remember those days. :o
CARTNUT
01-19-05, 09:57 PM
Re: the BEAN thing; My Garland, TX brother-in-law and I go round and round on this issue! It ticks him off to hear about beans in chili! I think those chili cook-off winning SOUPS are a joke! Chili should have chunks of stuff in it, AND BEANS! And should be eaten with cheese and onions on top AND A FORK!To each their own, I guess.
oddlycalm
01-20-05, 03:36 PM
What part of town are you in, OC? Not town at all really; we're out Scholls Ferry near Ponzi Vineyard if you know where that is. Far Southwest, nearly to Sherwood. Town is around 40 minutes from here, which is normally a good thing, but it does make it tough on visitors coming from the Janzen Beach area. OTOH, the ceramic pit BBQ weighs right around 500lbs., it doesn't travel well. ;)
oc
the ceramic pit BBQ weighs right around 500lbs., it doesn't travel well. ;)
oc
/me alters travel reservations to sherwood.
oddlycalm
01-20-05, 04:30 PM
Re: the BEAN thing; My Garland, TX brother-in-law and I go round and round on this issue! It ticks him off to hear about beans in chili! I think those chili cook-off winning SOUPS are a joke! Chili should have chunks of stuff in it, AND BEANS! And should be eaten with cheese and onions on top AND A FORK!To each their own, I guess. Chili is a stew not a soup, so it deninitely shouldn't be runny. It's also not as if there is any real consensus on this in Texas either. I have a whole raft of inlaws in San Antonio, from a family that's been there for generations, all of whom prefer beans. My own particular dislike is the hamburger/kidney bean soup that is passed off a chili so frequently, regardless of where one is, and supermarket "chili powder" which actually has cumin, oregano and a bunch of other stuff in it in addition to powdered chiles.
My personal favorite is chunky w/o beans. I thicken my sauce at the end of the cook with a little Masa (corn) flour, and leave the meat in 3/4" chunks. Since beans are added at the very end regardless, I've found that it's actually quite easy to please everybody by simply making it both ways. I prefer to use pinto beans as they have more flavor. Cheese and diced raw onions are added after the fact, so that's personal choice anyway. That's also the way to handle those that want extreme heat, just set out some Tobasco and Habanero powder for those that have previously cauterized their tongues... ;)
I also make a white bean chili using navy beans, chicken and a few diced jalepenos that a lot of people seem to to like. I take the position that there is no "correct" way to make chili, and prefer to enjoy several different versions.
oc
Michaelhatesfans
01-20-05, 05:30 PM
Not town at all really; we're out Scholls Ferry near Ponzi Vineyard if you know where that is. Far Southwest, nearly to Sherwood. Town is around 40 minutes from here, which is normally a good thing, but it does make it tough on visitors coming from the Janzen Beach area.
Yeah, that's quite a trek from the track, considering that everyone will be waterlogged and/or suffering from heatstroke in the evenings :cool:. We're only about 15 minutes from the track (no, it's actually a nice neighborhood - really! :laugh: ), but we're doing some SERIOUS renovations to the outside of our house. Still, I might get a wild hair and go ahead and throw the doors open for everyone, we'll see....
oddlycalm
01-21-05, 12:12 AM
Yeah, that's quite a trek from the track, considering that everyone will be waterlogged and/or suffering from heatstroke in the evenings :cool:. We're only about 15 minutes from the track (no, it's actually a nice neighborhood - really! :laugh: ), but we're doing some SERIOUS renovations to the outside of our house. Still, I might get a wild hair and go ahead and throw the doors open for everyone, we'll see.... We're on the tail end of some major indoor remodeling, so I understand. Just repeat to yourself "someday this will be finished" and crack another beer. Anyway, we have time to think about it, and how it might work best. While the BBQ pit isn't easily mobile, the BBQ itself travels just fine.
oc
Michaelhatesfans
01-21-05, 12:55 AM
:thumbup:
From merriam-Webster online
Chili:
a thick sauce of meat and chilies
Chili Con Carne:
American Spanish chile con carne chili with meat
: a spiced stew of ground beef and minced chilies or chili powder usually with beans
Chili is a stew not a soup, so it deninitely shouldn't be runny. It's also not as if there is any real consensus on this in Texas either. I have a whole raft of inlaws in San Antonio, from a family that's been there for generations, all of whom prefer beans. My own particular dislike is the hamburger/kidney bean soup that is passed off a chili so frequently, regardless of where one is, and supermarket "chili powder" which actually has cumin, oregano and a bunch of other stuff in it in addition to powdered chiles.
My personal favorite is chunky w/o beans. I thicken my sauce at the end of the cook with a little Masa (corn) flour, and leave the meat in 3/4" chunks. Since beans are added at the very end regardless, I've found that it's actually quite easy to please everybody by simply making it both ways. I prefer to use pinto beans as they have more flavor. Cheese and diced raw onions are added after the fact, so that's personal choice anyway. That's also the way to handle those that want extreme heat, just set out some Tobasco and Habanero powder for those that have previously cauterized their tongues... ;)
I also make a white bean chili using navy beans, chicken and a few diced jalepenos that a lot of people seem to to like. I take the position that there is no "correct" way to make chili, and prefer to enjoy several different versions.
oc
OK, mine has been a favorite of a lot of my friends for years. I've modified the version many times and have used different meats to change it. It may or may not include celery.
2 lbs Gnd beef or meat of choice.
lg onion
stalk of celery(optional)
Hot peppers (I grow my own and this is by choice, usually I put in about 4 or 5 medium finely diced)
16oz crushed or diced tomatoes. Or you could use fresh diced in little cubes.
10 oz. Catsup (you can use tomato paste as well)
2 packets chili flavoring mix
2 or 3 cans beans (another area I've experimented with)
1 can lemon-lime sode
1 can beer
oregano
Chopped dried Rosemary
optional(chopped mushrooms)
I've also added various shots of grain type alcohol in past experimentations.
The key to this chili con carne(according to the definition) is to cook slowly, at least 3 hours and allow to simmer down. When cooked right, it looks more like a stew than a typical chili.
:shakehead Geezus, I hope I haven't started a recipe thread. :D
:shakehead Geezus, I hope I haven't started a recipe thread. :D
:gomer:
1 pound ground or cubed meat.
1 tsp minced garlic
1 onion, chopped
1 green/red bell pepper, chopped
Brown above ingredients and add:
4 Tbsp chili powder
1 Tbsp cider vinegar
1/4 tsp allspice
1/4 tsp coriander
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup water
16 oz can crushed tomatoes
16 oz can beans with liquid (optional).
Simmer covered for several hours.
I seldom actually measure the ingedients that carefully anymore and I have been experimenting substituting powdered straight chiles (like chipolte) for the chili powder.
oddlycalm
01-21-05, 09:10 PM
:shakehead Geezus, I hope I haven't started a recipe thread. :D Sure, that's what they all say... :laugh:
Ingredients:
3 tablespoons ancho chile powder (around 3 pods)
3 tablespoons New Mexico chile powder (around 3 pods)
2 teaspoons dried Mexican oregano
2 tablespoons cumin seeds, toasted in dry skillet (medium heat about 4 min. until fragrant), then ground.
½ cup water
4lb. Beef chuck roast, trimmed of excess fat, cut into 3/4” cubes
2 teaspoon kosher salt, plus extra for seasoning
1 medium onion minced
5 medium garlic cloves, minced
3 jalapeno chiles, cored, seeded & minced (brightens flavor)
1 can crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce
2 tablespoons juice from one medium lime
5 tablespoons masa flour
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
3 12oz cans Pinto or kidney beans if desired or similar quantity of pre-cooked beans (optional)
1 teaspoon cayene powder (optional for more heat)
1) Mix the chili powders, cumin and oregano in a small bowl, and set aside half. To the remaining half stir in a ½ cup water to form a thick paste; set aside. Toss beef cubes with kosher salt; set aside.
2) To get a good smoky base flavor, sear meat in perforated shaker pan over charcoal fire w/ hickory chunks until browned. Another way to get the smoke flavor is to sauté the meat in a little bacon grease in large heavy soup kettle or dutch oven over medium heat. Hey, I never claimed this was healthfood. Sear or sauté meat in four batches until well browned on all sides, approx. 5 minutes per batch. Sauté onion on medium heat until softened, 5-6 minutes until translucent but not browned. Reduce heat a bit, and add garlic and jalapeno; sauté until fragrant, approx. 1 minute. Add chili paste; sauté until fragrant 2-3 minutes, be careful not to scorch it or it will become bitter. Add browned beef, crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce, lime juice, and 7 cups water (or chicken broth & water in equal parts; bring to simmer. Cook at a steady simmer until meat is tender, and juice is dark brown, rich, and starting to thicken, about 2hrs.
3) Add the remaining chili powders, cumin and oregano and stir in well. This is your finish dump and will brighten the flavor. This is also the time to add the beans if you wish.
4) Mix masa flour with 2/3 cup water in a small bowl to form a paste. Increase heat to medium; stir in paste and simmer until thickened. Adjust seasoning with salt and black pepper and cayene powder to taste. Can be served immediately, but preferably cover and refrigerate overnight and serve the following day.
Notes: You can substitute a good chili powder like Gephardt’s for the chile powders, cumin and Mexican oregano in the recipe. It won’t have the depth of flavor though, and you may need to add a third dump in the middle of the cook. You can also add cayene if you want more heat.
I like to cook. I like to create. I am an idiot when it comes to peppers. I've never made chili that didn't come with its own "kit", so, just in time for the Bowl, I decide to make chili, borrowing your guy's recipes - a bit from each of them.
oc says stay away from the chili powders in a jar, they contain cumin and oregano. OK, I buy chipotle powder, no mix.
My palatte's a bit wimpy, so I cut down the powder measurement, hey, I can always add more, right?
Jumping Jebus on a pogo stick! Using about 2 tbsp of chipotle with 2 lbs. of beef and lots of crushed tomatoes, this stuff is thermonuclear!!!! :flame: :flame: I'm not sure it can be saved. This is number 3 in the original post.
Suggestion: If you are going to use chipotle powder, buy the jar and just wave it near the pot. A slight, formal introduction is all that is necessary. Whatever you do, do not let any of the powder get INTO the pot! Oh, the humanity! :gomer:
Second dump, my ass.
Say what you will about A.J. Sammich, but the man has a killer chili recipe. I found it in a magazine a while back and have made it several times, always to rave reviews.
A.J. Foyt's 500-Mile Chili
3 pounds stewing beef, cubed
1 pound chorizo
2 large onions, diced
5 cloves garlic, minced
3 jalapeño peppers, peeled and diced
3 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
3 tablespoons chili powder
3 (15 ounce) cans tomato sauce
1 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups water
1 can Mexican beer
Brown meat, onions, garlic and jalapeños together in olive oil. While mixture is browning, add cayenne and chili powder. Stir often. Add tomato sauce, salt, water and beer. Cover and cook on low heat for 30 minutes, stirring often. Uncover and simmer for 2 hours.
Serves 6 to 8.
chop456
02-07-05, 02:37 PM
The Chorizo and Mexican beer must have paid their way in.
The Chorizo and Mexican beer must have paid their way in.
:laugh: $^%@in' ride buyers.
Anteater
02-07-05, 05:53 PM
Good suggestion. Between the locals and the fly-ins we should be able to put together a pretty disreputable group. I'll talk to the wife and see if we can put something together here at Mildew Manor. Only disadvantage is that it's quite a haul from Portland.
oc
The Anteaters will be back to Portland in June, and would be absolutely delighted to be part of the "pretty disreputable group"!
:D :D Heck, I may even provide the entertainment if the heat doesn't get to me. MHF knows what I look like when I have PIR-related heatstroke.
oddlycalm
02-07-05, 06:52 PM
Suggestion: If you are going to use chipotle powder, buy the jar and just wave it near the pot. A slight, formal introduction is all that is necessary. Whatever you do, do not let any of the powder get INTO the pot! Oh, the humanity! :gomer:
Second dump, my ass. :eek: :laugh: Ouch is about all I can say G. You made your post funny, but it's no fun making a batch of chili that has to be tossed out. Not all chile pods are created equal, so it's time that you became aquainted with the Scoville heat scale. Think of it as a way to avoid burning the mouth clean outa your head. The actual numbers aren't as important is having in mind the general relationships.
Chile heat chart (http://www.gourmetsleuth.com/chiliscale.htm)
If you look down the chart at the dried chiles you'll see that the Ancho and New Mexico I use are around 1000su (Scoville heat units). Chipotles on the other hand are smoked and pickled jalepenos, have some real kick to them and are around 15,000su. The chile powder you used was right at 15 times hotter than what I use, and you used half the amount of meat. ;)
One reason I split the chile powder into two dumps is so I can gauge the taste and heat before I put it all in. Every batch is a little different and so are chile powders. The way I handle folks that claim to really want it hot is to put out a shaker of Cayenne so to they can ruin it for themselves. I like deeply layered flavors, not major heat myself, and that's what wins in contests as well. Perhaps I'm a chili coward, but I'm pretty sure I can live with that...
If you like the smokey tast of Chipolte, try using a small pinch next time. I like the brightness of flavor a fresh jalepeno adds, but I only use one per large pot of chili, and I remove the seeds and membrane which is where most of the heat is.
If you don't want to have to think about it, buy a bottle of Gebhardt's at the grocery and call it good. The reason I roll my own is that I like less cumin than grocery store chile powders, which taste bitter and muddy to me due to all the cumin they dump in.
oc
oddlycalm
02-07-05, 07:02 PM
The Anteaters will be back to Portland in June, and would be absolutely delighted to be part of the "pretty disreputable group"!
:D :D Heck, I may even provide the entertainment if the heat doesn't get to me. MHF knows what I look like when I have PIR-related heatstroke. Great, you'll be pretty and the rest of us have disreputable covered. :laugh:
I hear you on the heat stroke. You guys probably felt about like G. did after a big bowl of his Stuporbowl chili, 'cept his burn was from the inside out.
oc
/raises hand...oc, I'd love your white bean chili w/chicken recipe. :cool:
The only way I get to make 'regular' chili is when mr anait's away...we strongly disagree on the ingredients and the process... :rolleyes: :D
Michaelhatesfans
02-08-05, 04:00 AM
The Anteaters will be back to Portland in June, and would be absolutely delighted to be part of the "pretty disreputable group"!
:D :D Heck, I may even provide the entertainment if the heat doesn't get to me. MHF knows what I look like when I have PIR-related heatstroke.
Glad to hear it!
I thought that you looked fine, but now I've somehow managed to find myself in an awkward, "how do I say that without giving her the creeps" sort of situation! :gomer:
I like to cook. I like to create. I am an idiot when it comes to peppers. I've never made chili that didn't come with its own "kit", so, just in time for the Bowl, I decide to make chili, borrowing your guy's recipes - a bit from each of them.
oc says stay away from the chili powders in a jar, they contain cumin and oregano. OK, I buy chipotle powder, no mix.
My palatte's a bit wimpy, so I cut down the powder measurement, hey, I can always add more, right?
Jumping Jebus on a pogo stick! Using about 2 tbsp of chipotle with 2 lbs. of beef and lots of crushed tomatoes, this stuff is thermonuclear!!!! :flame: :flame: I'm not sure it can be saved. This is number 3 in the original post.
Suggestion: If you are going to use chipotle powder, buy the jar and just wave it near the pot. A slight, formal introduction is all that is necessary. Whatever you do, do not let any of the powder get INTO the pot! Oh, the humanity! :gomer:
Second dump, my ass.
:o
Since I'm the one that introduced chipotle into this thread I should clarify that I use one or two teaspoons of the stuff to give it a little smokey flavor.
race chica
02-08-05, 12:44 PM
I really shouldnt have read this while at work and really hungry...do they deliver chili from Texas via the internet to Wisconsin? That would be yummy right now :)
I really shouldnt have read this while at work and really hungry...do they deliver chili from Texas via the internet to Wisconsin? That would be yummy right now :)
Hear, hear...and just a wee bit further northwest to Manitoba, too, please!! :D
I got about 2 gallons that I could prolly get halfway, say, Madison? :laugh:
No need for the :o , Klang, remember, "I am an idiot when it comes to peppers.". This is all on me. :shakehead
(/G. runs off to do some other half-assed-researched project/)
Just drop some off in Minnesota on the way from Wisconsin to Manitoba. :D
Oh, and add me to the list wanting the chicken chili recipe. ;)
K, kinda on topic, kinda off...can somebody please venture a guess as to why beans and chickpeas are okay for my husband when they're in 'Tortilla Soup' (a chili-flavoured clear tomato soup, served with grated cheese, green onions and tortilla chips), but he refuses to allow ANY kind of bean in chili??? Whassup with that, eh???!!! :rofl:
mmm, I think wheel-nut, klang, t7, and myself are very comfy with Houston's crappy weather at the moment when compared to your frozen tundra, people. Rain > Snow. You guys are S.O.L. if you want it delivered from down here :p
oddlycalm
02-08-05, 02:48 PM
White & green chili as made popular by microbreweries in San Francisco and Portland.
Night before: Put 1 pound of dried great northern white beans, rinsed and picked over, in water to soak overnight. Add water to cover the beans plus a couple of inches more.
• 2 lbs. Boneless, skinless chicken breast
• 1 Tbsp. Olive oil
• 2 medium onions, chopped
• 6 cloves garlic, minced or pressed
• 2 (4 oz.) cans chopped green chiles
• 4 tsp. Ground cumin
• 2 tsp. Oregano
• ½ tsp. Ground cloves
• ½ tsp. Cayenne pepper
• 8 cups chicken broth, or more if necessary
• white wine
• 1 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded
• 1lb. Great Northern white beans
Place chicken breast (or chicken tenders, which are cheaper) in a heavy saucepan with cold water to cover. Bring to a boil and simmer just until tender, about 15 minutes (maybe less for the smaller chicken pieces). When cool, cut chicken into chunks or tear apart with a fork; set aside. Heat olive oil in a heavy soup pot, add onions and saute over medium-high heat until translucent. Stir in garlic, chopped mild green chiles, ground cumin, oregano, ground cloves, and cayenne pepper and saute two minutes. Then add drained beans, 8 to 10 cups chicken stock or canned chicken broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat, add a splash of white wine and simmer, cover, until beans are very tender (about two hours). Stir occasionally. Add chicken and 1 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded; stir until cheese melts. Serve with additional cheese, sour cream, salsa, chopped cilantro, chopped black olives or anything that suits your fancy and contrasts in color as garnish. Makes eight to 10 servings.
devilmaster
02-08-05, 02:54 PM
My recipe will never win an award, and it might garner death threats from chili purists, but I like it, and so does those who eat it....
Note: Don't get too caught up in the ingredient amounts. I have never made this recipe the same twice. The true idea of it is to ensure that you have equal amounts of the major ingridients before you start. The idea is that the pile of ground meats should more or less equal the pile of other meats and that should equal the pile of vegetables and that should equal the pile of beans.
This recipe makes alot of chili. You need a big stock pot. Best for a party. But I make it once every 6 months or so, eat what I want, then store the rest in ziploc bags in the freezer. Perfect for the next 6 months. Give some ziploc bags to friends, or eat a little once in a while. Cool thing is that it gets hotter as it ages.
1 pd medium ground beef
1 pd ground pork
1 pd ground veal
1/2 pd of smoked bacon (or use 1/2 package of sliced bacon)
2 pds smoked sausage
1 can of red kidney beans
2 cans of mixed beans
1 can of refried beans
2 or 3 cans or jars of pasta sauce
2 packages of chili spice mix (old el paso is one, but I use a hot clubhouse brand)
2 large onions
2 dozen fresh white mushrooms
1 bunch green onions
1 red pepper, 1 yellow pepper, 1 orange pepper
minced garlic
cayenne pepper
tobasco or other hot sauce
chili powder
olive oil
optional: jalapeno or poblano peppers(use with the other peppers)
bottle of hot sauce. (add after the beans and pasta sauce to heat the chili to desired taste.)
1) Chop everything that needs to be chopped. Thats the bacon, sausage, and veg. Try to chop everything up so they more or less are the same size. Reserve half of the peppers and green onions for later.
2) In a large stock pot, heat a teaspoon or so of the oil. Add bacon. Dash cayenne, chili powder and tobasco on it, and cook till tender. Remove from the pot.
3) Add another teaspoon of oil if needed. Add the sausage to the stock pot. Repeat with the three dashes of spice and sauce. Cook till browned. Remove from the pot.
4) Add more oil if needed. Add all the chopped onion, mushroom and half the peppers. Do the three dashes. Saute. When they begin to soften, add about 3 tablespoons of the garlic. Cook for another minute then remove from the pot.
5) Add more oil if needed. Add all the ground meats. Give double or triple amounts of the three dashes. When meat starts to brown, add 1 tablespoon of garlic. When totally browned, add back the other cooked meats and vegs back into the pot and mix everything together.
6) Sprinkle one package of the chili spice mix on the meats and veg in the pot. Add the cans or jars of beans, then add the pasta sauces. If not enough sauce to properly cover, add a 3rd can of sauce or a little water. Mix and let simmer for 6 hours minimum, but better if at least 12 hours. In the last hour of simmering, add the reserved peppers and green onions and one can of refried beans. The beans will help thicken and give a neat flavour to the chili. If needed add parts of a second can of refried until desired thickness.
7) Serve chili in bread bowls, with shredded cheddar on top. Have some hot sauces on the side for those (like me) who want more kick. Stuff like Da Bomb, Dave's Insanity, Dave's reserved, or whatever else you like.
Enjoy!
Steve
oddlycalm
02-08-05, 03:05 PM
:o
Since I'm the one that introduced chipotle into this thread I should clarify that I use one or two teaspoons of the stuff to give it a little smokey flavor. Nah, you only loaded the gun and handed it to him.... :D
Seriously, I hear ya on the smoke flavor. Steve's recipe above accomplishes the same thing by using bacon. Last year was the first time I did chili in a dutch oven in the BBQ pit, and the long slow cook along with smoke transforms what was respectable chili into great chili. During the winter I've made chili with slow smoked brisket and pulled smoked pork butt out of the freezer, and had similar results. Regardless how you get it in there, the smoke flavor is always a great addition. :thumbup:
oc
Chili season has officially begun down here :cool: I think Stevesie's ground meat bastardization is on tap this weekend. :babycows:
Chili season has officially begun down here :cool: I think Stevesie's ground meat bastardization is on tap this weekend. :babycows:I'm doing oc's brisket this weekend.
But I'm going to follow directions this time...
I should be able to make the paste tonight, sauce tomorrow.
Joelski
11-02-06, 04:07 PM
Steve's concoction would sludge up even the cleanest coronary vessels! I say we chip in and ship a double batch to that sack-o-dirt out in MA.
:D
devilmaster
11-02-06, 04:22 PM
Man, I completely forgot I had posted that.
I feel like making a batch now. Yum. :cool:
But i did see a couple small errors with it. First off, the 1/2 pd of smoked bacon should be 'double smoked' bacon. You should be able to find it at deli counters. order it whole and cube it. Sliced thin usually just falls apart.
And 2nd, use both packages of chili spice. The recipe calls for 2 in the ingredients, but i specifically only said 1 in the instructions. Put both packs in where it says 1.
Might just have to whip up a batch this weekend. :)
Made my first batch o' the season last weekend. :thumbup: Gonna enjoy the sloppy seconds tonight whilst watching the "Wal*Mart National Championship Game" (as our local sports talk hack is referring to the Louville/WVU game). :laugh: My 'recipe' (I rarely follow actual recipes) pretty much follows OC's beef chili recipe except for the fruit, and I tone down the heat to use Anaheim or Pablano peppers to please the wife's wimpy palate. :\
Steve's version explains the whole Canadian cuisine discussion in another thread. :gomer:
-Kevin
Gangrel
11-02-06, 06:50 PM
Holy Night of the Living Threads, Batman! This one's over a year old! :eek:
:rofl:
Holy Night of the Living Threads, Batman! This one's over a year old! :eek:
:rofl:
Well, we do have a habit of recycling threads. The leftie vs. rightie thread was even older...like 3 years old. :eek: :saywhat:
-Kevin
oddlycalm
11-02-06, 07:59 PM
I Laughed when I saw this thread because the shoulder roasts were calling to me at the store recently. The shorter days seem to triggers that chili/stew contact closure in our brains all at the same time and there's no mistaking it when it happens. Must Make Chili Now
Those of the chili w/ beans persuasion remember to pick up that Beano when you buy the beans. :thumbup:
oc
Glad this thread came back up, I'm going to try a couple recipes on it.
Made my second pot of the season on Tuesday. Was digging in the freezer and found some frozen Jalapenos and cayennes that were home grown. I don't know how old these were but said what the heck.
Yechhhh.... worst batch ever. It had an unusual odor to it. I was the only one eating the damn stuff. Spent Tues night into Wed morning on the crapper.
Ugggh. :irked:
next time, remember to put the meat into the pot, not straight into your bowl ;)
Oddlycalm!! The brisket! Where does one find the dried red Jalapenos and dried Anaheim (or California) chiles????
I've got everything but those. I have heard, somewhere, prolly here, that chiles are named something different in Spanish after they are dried. Could that be it?
I went to the right stores. I found the expert that spoke "gringo", but no luck.
Help!
Thanks,
G.
try central market or whole foods?
you could try using powderd anaheim and jalapeno too...
http://www.foodsubs.com/Chiledry.html
mora chile Notes: This is a smoked and dried red jalapeno pepper. Substitutes: chipotle chile OR morita chile (smaller)
morita pepper Notes: Like the larger mora chile, this is a smoked and dried red jalapeno. Substitutes: chipotle (larger) OR mora chile (larger) http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/moritachile.jpg
California chile Notes: These are dried Anaheim chiles, very mild. Substitutes: dried New Mexico chile peppers (a bit hotter)http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/californiadriedchile5.jpg
[texas bbq snob] if you do your brisket right, you won't need sauce ;) :D [/texas bbq snob]
(I like a good sauce, but don't tell anyone)
Oooooo. I might have seen the moras, but I'm not too sure.
I have to find them tomorrow, so your help is very appreciated! Thanks!
No Whole Foods nearby, never heard of Central.
Chipotle is a bit much, but perhaps I can cut it down, by like, 15000 times...
Off to Trader Joe's, I guess.
devilmaster
11-22-06, 08:36 PM
Well, the Gobble Gobble game chili is on the stove.
Couple new tries, cubed beef instead of veal, needed a little extra liquid, so I shared my 'makin chili' beer with it. (the chili got the first drink, don't worry [not that anything could survive in there anyways...])
thinkin i'm also gonna take a steak or two and make some carne asada to put ontop of some nachos....
There's alot of food and booze if anyone wants to come up to Canada to celebrate American Thanksgiving. :D
devilmaster
11-10-07, 10:28 PM
*whistlin*
:)
Face flushed, wife's nose is runnin', hands smell like lime/chilies.
Trying coarse grind beef chuck this time. I'd rather cube the muscle, but time is saved.
Ascared to touch my (flushed) face.
OC's recipe roxors! Too much tomato for me, but wife unit loves that.
devilmaster
11-15-08, 06:07 PM
ya know what i love about this place? when I'm not at home and i just get the urge to make chili, I can always find my recipe....
And even better, you guys can find it too. :tony: ;)
I'll be starting my first batch of the season in a few minutes. :thumbup:
Low temps in the 30's tonight. Perfect chili weather.
ya know what i love about this place? when I'm not at home and i just get the urge to make chili, I can always find my recipe....
Hormel? :gomer: :p
-Kevin
devilmaster
11-15-08, 08:20 PM
Hormel? :gomer: :p
Worse! MINE! [evil laugh] :rofl:
I think its goin on the menu as kitchen sink chili.... :D
Made a batch tonight, for serving tomorrow with fresh bread. Basically a cross b/t cart7's recipe and a cookbook, but not quite. Whole lotta pantry cheatin' going on:
2 pkgs ground Johnny beef (maybe 4 lbs total - Johnny is our meat guy)
1 1/2 onions, finely chopped
3 large (palm-sized) mushrooms, finely chopped
1 - 796 ml can seasoned diced tomatoes
1 - 680 ml can red pepper & chilies pasta sauce
ketchup to taste, maybe 1/4 cup
kosher salt
cajun seasoning
chili powder w/extra garlic powder
liquid hickory smoke (it was a toss-up b/t it or mesquite)
1 - 540 ml can mixed beans
I forgot the beer. I remembered to put two Guinness Extra Stout and one Guinness draft in the fridge for drinking later, but I forgot to put one in the chili. Sheesh.
Andrew Longman
11-15-08, 11:01 PM
Slightly OT. Gumbo tomorrow, to stun my Greek inlaws. :D
oddlycalm
11-16-08, 05:38 PM
Slightly OT. Gumbo tomorrow, to stun my Greek inlaws. :D
Cool, I'm somewhere around week six of a serious gumbo fixation. :thumbup:
What, no takers for a nice pot of Tofu Chili and Lentil Loaf....?
oc
TKGAngel
11-16-08, 05:50 PM
Tofu Chili and Lentil Loaf
I'll pass, but thank you for offering. :)
I didn't make chili today, but whipped up a pot of homemade chicken noodle soup. Served with a bakery fresh hard roll, the soup is perfect for this cold & windy fall day.
extramundane
11-16-08, 06:34 PM
I'm in. Since grocery shopping on Sundays is a royal pain in the arse 'round these parts, I played the "make chili with what I've got on hand" game. Caramelized 1 shallot and 1 small yellow onion, threw in 1lb each of ground beef & pork, loads of cayenne powder, granulated garlic and cumin, with some hot sauce & smoked paprika just because, and cooked it all down. Threw the whole mess in a pot full of pureed tomatoes, 1 can of kidney beans and some more of the cayenne/garlic/cumin mix. After an hour or so of simmering, it was still a little soupy (shoulda drained the tomatoes a bit more), so I tossed in a few dehyrdated mushrooms. Not exactly traditional, but it took care of that excess water. :D
I've got a castiron skillet full of cornbread in the oven as well. Oughta be ready in time to watch the Stillers finish sucking up this game.:thumbup:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.