Thoughts and prayers appreciated for my mom

[anait]

She found out yesterday that what she thought were a few cysts instead is mostly likely a large tumour. The large size seems to indicate it has been growing for a long time. She sees a surgeon today, and may be referred to a women's clinic in the city. She's 65; one of her sisters went through breast cancer and came out fine.

She's very much at ease with everything right now...the night before her appointment, she had the most restful, longest sleep she's had in years; and friends who saw her that day said she'd never looked better. So, that is definitely a blessing; an attitude like that will be very good for our kids to see.

[DjDrOmusic]

:( She has our prayers!!

[lone_groover]

Yes, hoping for the best.

[racer2c]

Wishing her the best.

[spinner26]

Prayers for you and your Mom. :thumbup:

[Spicoli]

I will hoist a cold one in an hour or so.

[fourrunner]

Best of Luck to Her!!

[JoeBob]

All the best.

[oddlycalm]

Sorry to hear Tiana. All the best to all of you. Will it be surgery with a chemo back?

oc

[RTKar]

Absolutely, consider it done.

[RaceGrrl]

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

[Robstar]

:( Thoughts from downunder...

[Anteater]

Sorry to hear this. :( I will pray for her full and speedy recovery!

[cart7]

Prayers for both your Mom and you and family.

[Rob]

My best wishes go out to you and your mom.

[Ankf00]

:(

Best of luck to her with her treatment

[Al Czervik]

Hoping things work out. A few extra prayers can't hurt.

[RusH]

My mom has been battling that for 25 years, stay strong, and stay positive.

[Paintergeek]

Indeed. Bump............

[Ozarkian]

My mom has been battling that for 25 years, stay strong, and stay positive.

My Mom, too. This is beatable. RusH summed it up: "stay strong, and stay positive."

[Dave99]

Hope they caught it in time, anait.

:: positive thoughts, positive thoughts ::

[manic mechanic]

Thoughts and prayers delivered, T.

manic

[dando]

Thoughts & prayers, Tiana.

And good karma. :)

-Kevin

[Linda]

Good thoughts and prayers.

Linda

[anait]

Thanks, all. oc, don't know yet what the course of treatment will be...she's coming here on Sunday, to wait for the city clinic to set the biopsy date.

Trying to stay positive. Mr anait is the ultimate optimist, I need to follow suit. My mom was definitely not calm today...and I don't yet know how best to encourage her. She has been fighting a lot of things since becoming a widow at 33...I think she's beginning to decide how much fight she has left in her.

[Eagle104]

Already done from here..and more on the way.

[mexican]

ditto itto

[G.]

I'm there.

[oddlycalm]

She has been fighting a lot of things since becoming a widow at 33...I think she's beginning to decide how much fight she has left in her. It's not so much a fight as a long trudge. The list of what she needs is short, but important. A good doc is first on the list. Pretty much any competent surgeon can do the cutting required, but not every surgeon knows what they are looking at one they get in there, which effects what they do next. #2 on the list is a caretaker for the periods she can't physically manage herself or her place. #3 is support from family and friends for most people. Some people can sail through the tough stuff on their own, but not many. There are good days and bad days, and getting through the bad ones requires help and support.

To illustrate the imortance that support systems plays, most organ transplant programs will give much less consideration to candidates that lack good support systems. It may seem unfair to reject someone's chance to live based on whether they have family or friends, but the supply of organs is limited and the survival rates are so much higher for those with good support systems. Same thing with cancer. Folks with good support systems in place survive more often than folks that go home to an empty house with nobody to talk to.

Your mom is instinctively questioning whether she can manage all the logistics and dozens of little personal things. The answer is that at time she won't be able to, and the only people that are likely to be able to provide the answers and assurances are family and any close friends she has. If folks assure her that they will be there for her, it will partially ease her mind.

Getting through the actual procedures and any followup radiation or chemo is just a matter of showing up and plodding through. It's actually harder on the family in some ways than on the patient themselves. Chemo is always referred to in hushed tones and is widely feared, yet the treatments themselves are as much social occasion as anything else. Anyone that enjoys a good visit ends up doing fine.

oc

[anait]

Update - my mom is booked in the city for an assessment on April 28th. She has been here since April 10th, having quit her two part time jobs and her volunteer work after her doctor told her to get right into the city; he said the Wpg clinic would call by Monday April 11th, and probably get her in for a biopsy later in the week.

However, even though she asked her home clinic to state on the referral letter that she would not be at her home, but here at our house, the message didn't get through; she called the Wpg clinic last Wednesday to confirm they had my number, discovered they didn't, and gave them all my contact information. But, the Wpg clinic had called her home last Monday, and left a message for her...I guess that task had been completed, so they didn't follow up. I realize they're busy, and that they have tons of people to call...I'm just kinda annoyed...

So she spent last week waiting for a phone call that had already happened, getting unnecessarily stressed out. Kinda funny this afternoon, actually. Her friend back home who's watching her house phoned to tell me there was a message from last week - so I decided to phone the clinic myself to clear up the miscommunication, and they gave me all the information about her upcoming appointment. My mom had gone into the city to shop, but went to the clinic herself and discovered everything, too. I guess we both have the same fed-up limit!! :D

I think she'll probably go home tomorrow...she wants to have a yard sale for a few extra bucks (she's already done all the prep work)...good to cover gas prices these days!! :shakehead :) She thinks she'll come right back in after that, probably on Sunday the 24th.

We're thinking of borrowing a bed from friends, setting up a room of sorts for her in the family room. Our oldest has a curtained off room down there already, so she won't feel banished to the basement...there's a full bath, she has the TV and lots of space for her things (it's where she usually sleeps when she visits).

Thanks for your continued thoughts and prayers, everyone. My mom was surprised and touched that she has people thinking of her from so many places around the world.

[anait]

Update: My mom's surgery is scheduled for next Monday, May 16th. She has until that day to decide which procedure she wants the doctor to go ahead with - going with the less drastic lumpectomy, though, could mean she'd be back for more surgery if the cancer is more extensive than they thought.

Thanks for your continued support, folks.

[anait]

My mom had her surgery on Monday. They ended up having to do a mastectomy on the left side, and they removed 6 sentinal nodes ('early warning' nodes that would show if cancer had started to go into the lymph system)...5 of the nodes appear clear, one is harder to tell. So, they're doing tests on the nodes to confirm.

She is doing quite well, up and around yesterday. Sees her doctor next week for the results of the nodes testing, and some other tests from earlier in the month - those results will determine how much/if any chemo or radiation.

Thanks tons for all the thoughts you've sent our way. :)

[JoeBob]

Thanks for keeping us updated. Hopefully, the news continues to be good.

[JT265]

Like JB said. All the best Anait. :thumbup:

[dando]

Good karma. :)

-Kevin

[RaceGrrl]

I'm glad she came through the surgery ok. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you and hoping the pathology comes back clear.

[oddlycalm]

Tough process. Glad to hear your mom came through OK. You've all been through quite a lot. Speaking from personal experience, it's often as tough or tougher for the family as it is for the patient. Sounds like a good result, and any "clean-up" treatment should be relatively minor. :thumbup:

oc