Paintergeek
07-14-05, 07:14 PM
For those of you who havent heard this song, do yourself a favor...find it. Album version or radio show appearance. The band is no longer together in its entirety, but they were called Davinci's Notebook and were regular favs on the Bob and Tom radio show. The below song still stands as one of the funniest ever played on their show by a guest (my opinion only). To me, what makes a comic song funny, is when the song itself it so damned cathcy you find yourself singing it, even though its a spoof. The band also has a great one called 'Secret Asian Man', and 'Internet Porn'. In fact, Ill put Internet porn below this one. But the first song is an instructional song on how to write a boy-band song, only sung out AS a song. Perfection. (BTW< the band is all a-capella).
TITLE OF THE SONG
Declaration of my feelings for you
Elaboration on those feelings
Description of how long these feelings have existed
Belief that no one else could feel the same as I
Reminiscence of the pleasant times we shared
And our relationship's perfection
Recounting of the steps that led to our love's dissolution
Mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies
Penitent admission of wrongdoing
Discovery of the depth of my affection
Regret over the lateness of my epiphany
(Chorus)
Title of the song
Naïve expression of love
Reluctance to accept that you are gone
Request to turn back time
And rectify my wrongs
Repetition of the title of the song
Enumeration of my various transgressive actions
Of insufficient motivation
Realization that these actions led to your departure
And my resultant lack of sleep and appetite
Renunciation of my past insensitive behavior
Promise of my reformation
Reassurance that you still are foremost in my thoughts now
Need for instructions how to gain your trust again
Request for reconciliation
Listing of the numerous tasks that I'd perform
Of physical and emotional compensation
Acknowledgment that I acted foolishly
Increasingly desperate pleas for your return
Sorrow for my infidelity
Vain hope that my sins are forgivable
Appeal for one more opportunity
Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
Prayers to my chosen deity
Modulation and I hold a high nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooote...
(chorus repeat under held note)
INTERNET PORN
Back in the not too distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda
Up to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peak at all the portraits of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the losers in the backroom of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates of a whole new universe of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Roman orgy scenes
Internet porn: Dominatrix queens
Internet porn: Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep
Internet porn: Gross anatomy
Internet porn: Pam and Tommy Lee
Internet porn: When you're given so much to choose from who has time to sleep?
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
And I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3 or 4
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Sillhoueted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornocopia of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Barely legal teens
Internet porn: Naughty figurines
Internet porn: Geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men
Internet porn: Erotic Asian art
Internet porn: Guys with extra parts
Internet porn: I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again!
Internet porn: Melonlove.com
Internet porn: There's my neighbor's mom
Internet porn: Bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like smurfs
Internet porn: Massage le crevage
Internet porn: un-deux-toi menage
Internet porn: Every kind of smut from every corner of the earth!
TITLE OF THE SONG
Declaration of my feelings for you
Elaboration on those feelings
Description of how long these feelings have existed
Belief that no one else could feel the same as I
Reminiscence of the pleasant times we shared
And our relationship's perfection
Recounting of the steps that led to our love's dissolution
Mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies
Penitent admission of wrongdoing
Discovery of the depth of my affection
Regret over the lateness of my epiphany
(Chorus)
Title of the song
Naïve expression of love
Reluctance to accept that you are gone
Request to turn back time
And rectify my wrongs
Repetition of the title of the song
Enumeration of my various transgressive actions
Of insufficient motivation
Realization that these actions led to your departure
And my resultant lack of sleep and appetite
Renunciation of my past insensitive behavior
Promise of my reformation
Reassurance that you still are foremost in my thoughts now
Need for instructions how to gain your trust again
Request for reconciliation
Listing of the numerous tasks that I'd perform
Of physical and emotional compensation
Acknowledgment that I acted foolishly
Increasingly desperate pleas for your return
Sorrow for my infidelity
Vain hope that my sins are forgivable
Appeal for one more opportunity
Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
Prayers to my chosen deity
Modulation and I hold a high nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooote...
(chorus repeat under held note)
INTERNET PORN
Back in the not too distant past
When I would need a quick repast
Or a temporary break from my agenda
Up to the bedroom I would head
Pull out the Playboy from 'neath the bed
And sneak a peak at all the portraits of pudenda
My alternatives were slim
If I tried to find another source for sin
I'd have to hang out with the losers in the backroom of my local video store
But last month I finally made the call
I got a brand new cable modem installed
And it opened up the floodgates of a whole new universe of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Roman orgy scenes
Internet porn: Dominatrix queens
Internet porn: Girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep
Internet porn: Gross anatomy
Internet porn: Pam and Tommy Lee
Internet porn: When you're given so much to choose from who has time to sleep?
After my girlfriend goes to sleep
And I get out of bed and down the hall I creep
So I can hunker down and wallow in depravity until 3 or 4
You'll always find me in that same tableau
Sillhoueted by my monitor's warm glow
And absorbing all the bounty from the cornocopia of INTERNET PORN
Internet porn: Barely legal teens
Internet porn: Naughty figurines
Internet porn: Geriatric German grandmas spanking Spanish men
Internet porn: Erotic Asian art
Internet porn: Guys with extra parts
Internet porn: I don't think I'm ever going to see the sun again!
Internet porn: Melonlove.com
Internet porn: There's my neighbor's mom
Internet porn: Bikers wearing diapers chasing nurses dressed like smurfs
Internet porn: Massage le crevage
Internet porn: un-deux-toi menage
Internet porn: Every kind of smut from every corner of the earth!