man cuts off own penis - throws it at police

[Spicoli]

This guy must have been really mad.

:p
__________________________________________________ _________

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter Advertisement

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows



Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

[FTG]

As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

That's reassuring.

[dando]

This guy must have been really mad.

:p
__________________________________________________ _________

http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html

Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter Advertisement

Before cops threw the book at him, Tony George threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

George, , cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached George's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows



George, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on George's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. George then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

George was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

George threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned George with the Taser. George fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.


There. Corrected that story. :gomer:

-Kevin

[jcollins28]

That's reassuring.


Yeah it's called a "Detatchable Penis"....

[Ankf00]

He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland

He's going to be having some more problems with the gf.

[jcollins28]

DAMN THIS THREAD!!! Now I have that damn song stuck on a loop in my head playing over and over again!

[Spicoli]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detachable_Penis


Detachable Penis is a song by the band King Missile from their 1992 album Happy Hour and is their best-known song. The song is narrated by the unnamed owner of the detachable penis. In the course of the song, the title is repeated with an interval of c. 4 seconds.
Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

The narrator wakes up with a bad hangover to discover that his detachable penis is missing. After searching his apartment, calling the location of the party he attended the night before, and querying all his friends, the narrator is unable to locate his penis.

Depressed, the narrator goes for a walk, and sees his penis for sale on a blanket near an alley next to a broken toaster oven. The man selling the penis asks $22 for it, but the narrator is able to talk him down to $17. The narrator then takes his penis home, washes it off, and puts it on. With his penis back in place, the narrator says he is happy again. Ironically, the song ends with the narrator saying, "Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis."
[edit]

Song Meaning

For as long as it's been around, there has been a debate about what the song means. One side claims that the Detachable Penis is a metaphor for the writer's girlfriend. They say the song depicts a man losing his girlfriend at a party, calling his friends looking for her, only to find her being sold on the street by a pimp. Finally, he takes her back, and she remains with him until the next party. Several lines from the song seem to support this interpretation: "I dont like being without my penis for too long, it makes me feel like less of a man" or "I was happy again. Complete." The final lines of the song, "Some people say I should get it permanently attached, but I dont know. Even though it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis." can be interpreted to say that people pressure the narrator to get married to his girlfriend, but he prefers to have a relatively loose relationship. The phrase now and then, I go to a party, get drunk and the next morning, I can't remember what I did with it could signify that the guy's girlfriend heavily disapproves of him drinking alcohol.

The other side claims that the writer was just having fun and writing a silly song about a guy with a detachable penis.

The song itself is frequently mistagged as being by Primus, The Dead Milkmen, Butthole Surfers, They Might Be Giants or Nada Surf.

[jcollins28]

Hmm well for what it is worth, I think these guys were extremely high, like "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" high when they wrote that song. So I would side with the there is no meaning to this crazy drug induced song. BTW if I saw my penis being sold on the street it would be top dollar and no one in their right mind would come down a penny on the price! :D

[Methanolandbrats]

The guys probably been married for over 20 years and realized he did'nt need it anymore. Of course even in that case, it is still kinda handy to pee out of.

[vancouver]

I aint a man but... if I had cut of my penis, wouldnt I be writhing in pain from the minute the blade touched my skin.

So, in so much pain and discomfort, how the hell did he manage to find the energy to throw it at the police and then run back into the house? :saywhat:

If it had been me, I'd probably rolling around screaming!

[Dr. Corkski]

He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.Easy, you hiding another one over in Poland? :laugh:

[Ankf00]

I aint a man but... if I had cut of my penis, wouldnt I be writhing in pain from the minute the blade touched my skin.

So, in so much pain and discomfort, how the hell did he manage to find the energy to throw it at the police and then run back into the house? :saywhat:

If it had been me, I'd probably rolling around screaming!

"Ice" does funny things for one's stamina ;)

[Spicoli]

Easy, you hiding another one over in Poland? :laugh:
huh?

[Sean O'Gorman]

How long after the surgery do you think he has to wait to wack off without the stitches coming undone?

[emjaya]

So Sean,with all your expertise on the subject,how long do you think he should wait. :laugh:

[Ankf00]

The sad part with him is that Daytona Prototypes are involved. But I suppose everyone needs a slumpbuster at some time or another, well, some people anyways...