earl gets slammmed,

[trauma1]

you will LYAO, instant classic
http://regulus2.azstarnet.com/blogs/tracktalk/1439/forgive-me-for-wasting-your-time-but-irsquom-gonna-write-about-the-irl
Forgive me for wasting your time but I'm gonna write about the IRL
2006-03-21
Jaynelle Ramon
The IRL season starts this weekend and since I’m trying to be an equal opportunity racing fan I thought I’d provide y’all with a season preview focusing on the truly important things.

Let’s get started with a few things I’m wondering about as the “stars” of the Indy Racing League get ready to start their engines.


Does Michael Andretti have a realistic shot at winning the Indianapolis 500 or is he just another in a long list of athletes that can’t let go? (Yeah, that means you, too, Darrell Waltrip.)



(Reuters)
Oh, Danny Boy, to be the brim of that jar of milk.
Am I right, ladies?


Speaking of not being able to let go…now Little Al is planning a Brickyard comeback, too. Hey, old dudes, go away!


If Danica Patrick is leading a race on the final lap does her ego cross the finish line five seconds before the nose of her car does?


Will the boys continue to throw jealousy-induced little hissy hits when they have to make appearances and sign autographs with Danica?


Another thing about Danica – do people really think she is this amazing beauty because I just don’t see it.

Maybe it’s as my brother says – it’s all about perspective. Is she the cutest girl to ever race in the IRL? Sure. Is she supermodel hot? Not really.

Or maybe it’s as my friend Kate says, “She is the prettiest girl in the trailer park.”



(Reuters)
And one for the fellas

That joke might work better if she raced in NASCAR.

Moving on…


Is there a set number of times ESPN/ABC has to mention and/or put the camera on Ashley Judd?


Gene Simmons is one of the new marketing partners for the IRL. Yeah, that Gene Simmons, from KISS.

What the…?


Mr. I’ll Always Be In Lebron’s Shadow, aka Carmelo Anthony, is the co-owner of a new team.

The car is being touted as “Car-melo.”

Is that a caramel-filled candy or a racecar?


Only one engine manufacturer – Honda, less races and fewer cars on the grid. The IRL brass tells us this is a good thing.

Does addition by subtraction really work?


With all the side-by-side racing the IRL produces is there anything to make us want to watch more than the last two laps?


The Indy 500 is scheduled to start at 2 p.m. Eastern Time and the Coca-Cola 600 at 5 p.m.

Will any NASCAR drivers attempt the double this year?


How many photos will capture Helio Castroneves wearing one, if not both, of his Indy 500 championship rings?

And finally…


Does Dan Wheldon use all that hair product to make himself more aerodynamic?

Do you think it’s mousse or Valvoline Synthetic Racing Oil 20W-50?


Back

[Wally]

Oops.................. :laugh:

[Spicoli]

Who here wrote that? :rofl:

[trauma1]

Jaynelle Ramon of the arizonia star wrote it

the gomers are pissed she dissed shamicia :rofl: :rofl:




Another thing about Danica – do people really think she is this amazing beauty because I just don’t see it.

Maybe it’s as my brother says – it’s all about perspective. Is she the cutest girl to ever race in the IRL? Sure. Is she supermodel hot? Not really.

Or maybe it’s as my friend Kate says, “She is the prettiest girl in the trailer park.”

[dando]

Or maybe it’s as my friend Kate says, “She is the prettiest girl in the trailer park.”
:thumbup:

Damned straight...she's gots all her teeth. :gomer:

-Kevin

[Ankf00]

the old teef vs. toof debate, eh?

[trauma1]

he's a readers comment f funny as hell

Jaynelle – As far as Danica goes, she’s the hottest girl to hit the IRL since Sarah Fisher but it’s like comparing two dogs. One may be more aesthetically pleasing than the other but they’re still dogs.

[Andrew Longman]

That Gene Simmons guy sure does have the PR machine set at 11 doesn't he? :D

[Elmo T]

Unbelievable. There was a lot of turmoil and hand-wringing during the CART/OWRS time, but I was NEVER embarrassed to be a fan. Hard to believe that there are IRL fans out there that aren't completely embarrassed by the current state of affairs: mindy, Gene, Danica the Omnipresent, the IRL choosing to run a combined 500 with the "Legends of Indy" this year... :shakehead

[cameraman]

Embarrassed? **** they are looking forward to it...

[oddlycalm]

Unbelievable. There was a lot of turmoil and hand-wringing during the CART/OWRS time, but I was NEVER embarrassed to be a fan. Hard to believe that there are IRL fans out there that aren't completely embarrassed by the current state of affairs That gaping cultural difference is one of the core issues that makes any talk of reunification seem silly to me. Everyone always discusses all the objective reasons it makes sense but they totally ignore the 3000lb elephant in the room; the dopey PT Barnum stuff meant to appeal to a lowest-common-denominator audience. The reason BiF's stuff is so funny is that it's so close to the truth.

Why not just have carnival acts with freaks of nature, geeks and a strip show in the infield...?

oc

[CARTNUT]

That gaping cultural difference is one of the core issues that makes any talk of reunification seem silly to me. Everyone always discusses all the objective reasons it makes sense but they totally ignore the 3000lb elephant in the room; the dopey PT Barnum stuff meant to appeal to a lowest-common-denominator audience.

That's the problem with racing today: That "lowest-common-denominator audience" is the majority of the American race viewing audience today! In other words, most Americans aren't that intelligent. That's why NASCAR is so popular and sadly, that's why it probably would work.



Why not just have carnival acts with freaks of nature, geeks and a strip show in the infield...?

Heck, I'd go see that!!!




The reason BiF's stuff is so funny is that it's so close to the truth.

BIF is among the more intelligent!

'NUT :gomer:

[Sean O'Gorman]

That's the problem with racing today: That "lowest-common-denominator audience" is the majority of the American race viewing audience today! In other words, most Americans aren't that intelligent. That's why NASCAR is so popular and sadly, that's why it probably would work.

:rolleyes:

I'd be willing to bet there are more doctors, professors, rocket scientists, engineers, corporate executives, etc. watching NASCAR than Champ Car, IRL, ALMS, and Grand-Am combined.

Just because the powers that control open wheel have no concept of a fan-centric racing series (thus causing them both to suck with the general public by default) doesn't necessarily mean NASCAR is dumbed-down.

[Ed_Severson]

I know plenty of dumb engineers, a fair number of dumb professors, and a few dumb corporate executives. You can be highly educated and still be dumb.

The appeal of NASCAR, like it or not, is based on the lowest common denominator. It's the Hollywood syndrome. Most people, regardless of their level of education, aren't interested in stuff that's sophisticated, makes them think very hard, requires much effort, or worst of all, is unpopular. This is especially true when it comes to conventional forms of entertainment -- movies, music, sports, and the like. They simply want to be entertained with a product that is uncomplicated and shiny, and the shiniest, simplest, least-mentally-engaging forms of those entertainment modes are the ones that are latched onto with the most frequency.

Maybe the folks running open wheel don't know much about running a fan-centric series (although the group running Champ Car seems to be getting smarter in that particular field), but that doesn't preclude NASCAR from being a dumbed-down form of motorsport.

[Cam]

Why not just have carnival acts with freaks of nature, geeks and a strip show in the infield...?

oc

I am a proud geek! I thought you liked me! ;)

[Sean O'Gorman]

I know plenty of dumb engineers, a fair number of dumb professors, and a few dumb corporate executives. You can be highly educated and still be dumb.

The appeal of NASCAR, like it or not, is extremely oriented towards the lowest common denominator. It's the Hollywood syndrome. Most people, regardless of their level of education, aren't interested in stuff that's sophisticated, makes them think very hard, requires much effort, or worst of all, is unpopular. This is especially true when it comes to conventional forms of entertainment -- movies, music, sports, and the like. They simply want to be entertained with a product that is uncomplicated and shiny, and the shiniest, simplest, least-mentally-engaging forms of those entertainment modes are the ones that are latched onto with the most frequency.

Maybe the folks running open wheel don't know much about running a fan-centric series (although the group running Champ Car seems to be getting smarter in that particular field), but that doesn't preclude NASCAR from being a dumbed-down form of motorsport.

Please explain how NASCAR is any more "dumbed down" than, say, NFL, or MLB?

Just because many dumb people watch NASCAR doesn't mean most NASCAR fans are dumb.

[Ed_Severson]

Please explain how NASCAR is any more "dumbed down" than, say, NFL, or MLB?

Who said it was? I think you could make that argument, but nobody's tried so far, and I'm not going to do it, for two reasons:

1) Whether NASCAR is more or less sophisticated than the NFL -- how dumb it is in a relative sense -- has no bearing on how dumb it is in an absolute sense.

2) We're talking about the cultural differences between, essentially, the Champ Car and IRL fan bases as they relate to the split. Other sports aren't really relevant at all.


Just because many dumb people watch NASCAR doesn't mean most NASCAR fans are dumb.

True, but the overwhelming size of the pool of NASCAR fans makes it more likely that the qualities of the average NASCAR fan match the qualities of the average person, and I'm not sure the premise that the majority of people are dumb is too far from the truth, which makes the majority of NASCAR fans being dumb a probable outcome.

Whether or not the series is what you consider "fan-centric" doesn't really relate to the sophistication level of the audience.

[Cam]

Whether or not the series is what you consider "fan-centric" doesn't really relate to the sophistication level of the audience.

I think I just heard someones head assplode up in the Cleveland region! ;)

[CARTNUT]

Please explain how NASCAR is any more "dumbed down" than, say, NFL, or MLB?

Just because many dumb people watch NASCAR doesn't mean most NASCAR fans are dumb.

NASCAR still uses carburetors!!! They don't use carburetors in the NFL or MLB, do they? :saywhat:

(I guess they don't teach this stuff in college.) :p

[Sean O'Gorman]

How the hell is a carburetor dumbed down???? Could you actually watch a NASCAR race and think, "man this race would be waaay better if these cars were fuel injected." I'm pretty sure if they did to stock cars what the road racing crowd wishes they were like, there'd probably only be 10-15 cars in the field, like in every other "sophisticated" road racing series. :rolleyes:

[Andrew Longman]

Innocent question.

Is it really cheaper to build a race engine with push rods and a carb?

Given that every manufacturer on the planet uses OHC and EFI I would think cost (and the fact that it is easier to control emmisions) has a lot to do with it.

I suspect NASCAR prefers carbs because it is easier to police than software that controls EFI.

[KLang]

Just because the powers that control open wheel have no concept of a fan-centric racing series (thus causing them both to suck with the general public by default) doesn't necessarily mean NASCAR is dumbed-down.

How do you define 'fan-centric racing series'?

[oddlycalm]

How the hell is a carburetor dumbed down? Could you actually watch a NASCAR race and think, "man this race would be waaay better if these cars were fuel injected." I'm pretty sure if they did to stock cars what the road racing crowd wishes they were like, there'd probably only be 10-15 cars in the field, like in every other "sophisticated" road racing series. A carburetor isn't just dumbed down, it's a relic, an artifact of the industrial age 20th century for which the only current production application is small scale agricultural equipment and motorcycles.

By the early 1960's carburetors were mostly gone from pure racing cars. Mechanical fuel injection from Hilborn and others was what was seen on Champ Cars, Spridgets as well as Can Am, F5000, etc., etc. Unless you went to club races or tin top races you didn't see carbs then and you don't see them now. The advent of EFI 25-30yrs ago simply accelerated the process. Not just race cars either. My '65 Benz 220SE had injection as well as a 4sp manual column shift.

Yes, NASCAR would be much better with current technology and it doesn't take any imagination at all to know that; just watch the V8 Supercars in Oz for 10 minutes and you'll see cars with similar basic engines to NASCAR, but much more sophisticated systems and chassis and much more exciting to watch than the lumbering NASCAR pig iron pokers. As far as cost goes it's a wash between the two, so your assertion of a 15 car field theory is based on what if not cost?

You have now way to know this because you've never been to either, but the engine shop at Childress is nearly the equal of what Cosworth has in the UK. Read that again, think about the number of engine builders in NASCAR and let that sink in. DCX built a race car engine factory, not a shop, when they re-entered NASCAR. You simply can't call a 300,000 sq. ft. mostly brick plant a "shop" with a straight face.

Nothing about NASCAR is small dollars but much of it is lame. If you like the Frances vision of overgrown lawnmower motortainment knock yourself out, but don't tell me it's all good because it's not, it's absolute crap. There was a day when NASCAR was good and somewhat technically relevant, but you weren't around to see it.

However, this thread was about the EARL getting slammed in the media for being the absolute embarrassment it is. Care to disagree with that...?

oc

[Easy]

2) We're talking about the cultural differences between, essentially, the Champ Car and IRL fan bases as they relate to the split. Other sports aren't really relevant at all.




This is the only situation where we can consider other sports less relevant than ChampCar and Irl.

[oddlycalm]

Innocent question.

Is it really cheaper to build a race engine with push rods and a carb? No, if it's based on a stock engine the cost is going to be similar.

oc

[Sean O'Gorman]

However, this thread was about the EARL getting slammed in the media for being the absolute embarrassment it is. Care to disagree with that...?


Do I really have to answer that? :D

My point is, all things being equal, a fuel injected stock car ISN'T going to be any different going around a track than one with with a carb, at least to the average fan. Hell, I'm far above an average fan and I wouldn't notice. As far as the cars themselves, if NASCAR started racing V8 Supercars, the inevitable increase in technology and costs would drive things to the point where it would probably look like your typical North American road racing series. Show me one non-NASCAR racing series that hasn't experienced this.

As for what defines a fan-centric series, I would think one that operates with the philosophy of "how can we grow our fanbase?", or in the case of an established series "how can we keep our fanbase happy?" when it comes to everything they do would be a fan-centric series. When Rahal signs some ride buying hack or Champ Car adds a race in a country that their potential fans don't care about, are they being considerate of the fans? I've said it for years and Spicoli has echoed it too, but open wheel is just a personal playground for a bunch of rich guys fighting for control, and is more like a somewhat-public private hobby than a professional race series.

[CARTNUT]

2) We're talking about the cultural differences between, essentially, the Champ Car and IRL fan bases as they relate to the split. Other sports aren't really relevant at all.

I'd be willing to bet there are more doctors, professors, rocket scientists, engineers, corporate executives, etc. watching Champ Car than the IRL.
But what about Lawyers? and Valets? Hmmm? ;)

'NUT :gomer:

Man oh man I wish we had Steak and Shake in California!

[stroker]

Unbelievable. There was a lot of turmoil and hand-wringing during the CART/OWRS time, but I was NEVER embarrassed to be a fan. Hard to believe that there are IRL fans out there that aren't completely embarrassed by the current state of affairs: mindy, Gene, Danica the Omnipresent, the IRL choosing to run a combined 500 with the "Legends of Indy" this year... :shakehead

I wonder what Parnelli Jones would say about it...

:shakehead